


With Him AU

by Darkwhitepebble



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Compliant as much as possible, Depression, GalraKeith, KLOTOR, Keitor, M/M, More tags to be added, Panic Attacks, Romance, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Tension, becomes one of lotors generals, best friend ezor, body harm, ezor is awesome, keith and lotor, keith is driven away, self hate, slowburn, starts with first appearance as general, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24934774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkwhitepebble/pseuds/Darkwhitepebble
Summary: keith is a galra and one of lotor's generals after being found out and shunned by the team, basicallyguess who's been doing too many freaking rewrites (its me guys)so be ready, cause that's coming up boos
Relationships: Acxa & Ezor & Lotor & Narti & Zethrid (Voltron), Keith/Lotor (Voltron)
Comments: 46
Kudos: 337





	1. He Always Knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief recap on how Keith came to be in this situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first voltron fic, and my second fic ever. please tell me if it sounds bad

Keith always knew that he was odd.

When he was five, he was playing in the desert surrounding the small house he called his home. He lived alone but knew how to fend for himself, even with only the knife his mother gave him when he was little. He was playing in the sand when a large coyote appeared, its ears flattened and its teeth pulled back from its lips as it snarled viciously. 

An instinct overtook Keith as a wash of tingles ran over his body. This was _his_ home, _his_ territory. Not coyote was going to take that from him. Keith had snarled back and leaped at the coyote. Using sharp claws he didn't remember having, Keith scratched and drove off the coyote, snarling at it with his tail lashing as it limped pathetically away. 

Tail?

Keith walked back to his house and looked in the mirror, yelping with what he saw. His skin was now a light purple, and he two slash marks on either side of his face, dark purple markings on his cheeks. His eyes were an unbroken, glowing yellow. He had a small, thin tail with a tuft on the end of it, and instead of his normal ears, he had two giant furry animal ears in their place, with tufts on the ends of those too. His fingers were tipped with sharp claws, that he found he could sheathe and unsheathe on command, and feet resembled paws. 

He had grinned and how cool it had been, and spent the next few days learning how to change forms when he wanted to. But shortly after that, he knew he couldn't ever show this to the real world. So he kept it hidden and confined to his home.

It had been his little secret. 

∅

When Keith met Allura, he thought, maybe since she wasn't from Earth, maybe she would know what was going on. He could ask her, and she would know. That was before she started cursing out the Galra name, before she had told them the horrid things their race had done. He hadn't known, but he decided to stay quiet for a little bit. After his first encounter with Galra, he knew he was one. Or, half of one. He couldn't tell Allura.

So he didn't.

He lived his life in silence, only occasionally slipping into the other form just to make sure he could still do it. The other form was stronger, faster, smarter. But it was also ruled and driven by pure instinct. Keith had been relying on that instinct, which translated loosely into his human form, his entire life. It was his fallback, his failsafe. When everything else failed, he knew he could trust himself. 

Keith distracted himself by throwing himself into training and sparring and trying to be the best paladin he could so that one ~~when~~ if they ever found out about him. Then, they couldn't kick him out. Because he was crucial. He was important. He was _accepted_. 

That was before they found the Blade of Marmora, before Allura had so hated them simply because they were Galra. He knew with a sickening feeling in his stomach, that she would never change. Still, he went aboard with his knife, took the trials, and let himself change. They had been so surprised, but after he had told them, they let him join without much hesitancy. He was Galra. He was accepted here. He became a Blade. And he asked that they turned off the video feed so that he could keep his Galra half a secret. 

But when his blade had glowed and expanded, when he had unlocked it, he felt something odd. There was a sharp pain in his head, like a bullet to his skull. But the pain lasted for a split second. And when he stood, trying to change back, he found he _couldn't_. Keith couldn't change back. He put his knife down, tried everything he could think of.

Kolivan had approached with a knowing look in his eyes and apologized. Keith looked up with tears in his eyes. They would know. The paladins would know. Allura would know. _Shiro_ would know. So he did the next thing he could think of. He activated the mask on his new suit of armor and kept it up. Kolivan let him leave like that. He knew Keith couldn't keep it on forever. 

Shiro seemed surprised Keith kept it on as they left and returned to the ship. Keith kept it on, except for when he slept. His suit accounted for his tail, but he made up some lie about it being a spare and how that was the only thing they had had. Allura was suspicious immediately. 

He hadn't told any of them he was Galra, and that was how he woke his blade.

That night, he had slipped out of the armor easily and threw on a t-shirt with shorts that didn't restrict his tail. He had climbed into bed, pulling the covers onto him. But that night, he had forgotten to lock the door. Allura had come by his room every night and found the door locked. Tonight, when it wasn't, she knew it was an accident. She knew she shouldn't invade his privacy.

But she opened the door anyway.

Keith didn't wake, so she got a full view of the huge ears on the side of his head, and she noticed the tail hanging off the edge of the bed. The marks on his face, his paw-like feet, his -thankfully- retracted claws, the marks on his face. She saw it, and screamed. 

Keith shot up in bed, squinting against the harsh light entering his room. And then he saw Allura. At first, he didn't understand why she was looking at him in fear and disgust. Then he remembered. She could see everything. 

"Allura, wait, I can explain," He tried.

"You're Galra." She said, stepping backward.

"Only half! I can explain!" He cried because this was his worst nightmare. Maybe he could find a way to wake up. 

"What's going on?" Keith heard Lance yell, and there were others behind him. They were coming. He knew it. They were coming. They would see him. They would _judge_ him. He did the first thing he could think of. Moving faster than any human could dream, he shut the door and locked it. Allura stared at him in shock. Keith hit the switch for the lights and turned to her. 

"Please let me explain." He asked softly, his ears drooping. 

Allura waited in silence, which Keith took.

So he talked. He told her about when it had first happened as a child, and how he had lived through then. He explained how his mother was a Galra, and his dad died when he was very young. He talked about how he wanted to tell her, but when she talked about the Galra, he had gotten scared. He talked and rambled and spilled all of the information he knew. 

When he was done, he looked back at Allura. She was staring at him.

"You're on of them." She said quietly.

"That doesn't make me bad!" Keith begged. 

Allura shook her head. "Galra are responsible for the destruction of Atlea and countless other worlds! How could you say that?"

"Do I look like I've destroyed worlds?!" Keith retorted.

"I don't care," Allura was shouting, and Keith knew the people outside of his door could hear her now. "You're Galra and you're all evil!" 

Keith froze. He looked away, tail flicking behind him. His ears were pinned back, but his expression was harder to read considering his eyes were plain yellow. Slowly, Allure walked over to unlock and open the door. Keith would be revealed. 

As she opened it, he leaned against the wall as he sank to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his arms on top of them, hiding his face. His tail wrapped tightly around himself and his ears flattened as he hid from the sound of the door opening. 

"What's going on? Why are you calling Keith Galra?" Pidge asked. 

Keith curled further into himself. He couldn't face them. The ones he had thought had been his family. He can't bear to look at them. 

"He's not to be trusted." Allura snapped, striding away from the room and down the hall. Keith heard them walk in, heard the soft gasps, and _oh my god_ s. He didn't look up. He couldn't look up. 

"Keith," Hunk says softly, and Keith felt him sitting down next to him. "Are you okay?" 

Keith shut his eyes tighter, wishing the floor would just swallow him whole already. Hunk touched his arm, and Keith recoiled, still not lifting his face. His instincts told him to lash out, to bite and scratch, but his mind gave a firm no. This was Hunk, for god's sake. 

But when Lance walked over and grabbed his arm tightly, he listened to those instincts. They had kept him alive for this long, after all. In one swift motion, Keith uncurled and hissed, unsheathing his claws and scratching Lance just deep enough to draw blood, springing up and sprinting out of the room. 

By the time he was at the end of the hall, they were just starting to call his name. 

∅

Keith was hiding in the training room, sparring with the gladiators when they found him. 

His senses picked them up immediately, but he thought maybe if he ignored them they would go away. So he turned his focus back to his fight. He was facing five gladiators at one of the hardest settings, the room glowing red. He was holding his blade from Marmora, already having done what he refers to as 'unsheathing', which is simply expanding the knife into a sword. He had managed to grab his old outfit, and thank god it still fit. He had the same black t-shirt and jeans, with a belt slung across and his red and white jacket, along with his boots. 

The gladiators slowly circled him, and they took turns attacking, two at a time. Right when he started to fight the first two, another would sneak up behind him, and the last one in his blind spot. But his Galran senses told him everything he needed to know, and with a lash of his tail, he sprung. Flipping backward on one hand, he twisted as he landed in a crouch, sweeping a leg out and catching the one behind him. Launching forward, he feinted left, but turned right at the last second and used the blunt end against the gladiator so as to not damage it. You only needed to provide what would be a killing move for the room to acknowledge it and deactivate the challenger. 

Twisting again so he was facing the same direction as the one behind it, he forcefully knocked the hilt of his blade into the head of the gladiator, not bothering to waste a second as it beeped loudly and fell to the ground with a clatter. Launching forward into a roll, he came out of it touching the tip of the sword into the abdomen of the gladiator. The room beeped, and Keith swept out his leg again, taking out the other two. 

He sprung to his feet with ease, breathing harder than normal, but not heavily. The paladins were still there. They had watched him spar. Pushing down the chaos of his mind, he turned to face them and sheathed the blade, turning it back to a knife with ease and slipping it into his pocket. 

He patiently waited for them to speak. 

"Keith, I feel like we should have a discussion," Shiro said carefully.

"We want to talk about your continuation as a paladin," Allura interjected.

Keith nearly keeled over. Did they want to remove him from the team? To banish him? Keith felt like vomiting. 

"Allura!" Shiro hissed, before turning to Keith sheepishly. "We don't want to remove you, just discuss all of this."

Keith watched them and took a step forward. They all took a step back, fear flashing on their faces for a split second. It was gone in a moment, but it hit Keith like a sledgehammer to the stomach. They were... afraid of him. 

"You're afraid of me." He finally said.

They all avoided his gaze.

"You are our enemy." Allura finally said.

Keith waited for anyone to deny it. To tell her no, Keith is not the enemy. He had no control over how he was born. He didn't choose to be this. When no one said anything, he felt his heart shatter. They were abandoning. Just like everyone else. Nobody stayed for long. They all ran when they found out who Keith really was. 

Keith took a deep breath, forcing the tears not to fall. He should have expected this. This always happened. And it was always Keith's fault for daring to hope. He did this to himself over and over. Why did he never learn his lesson? 

"Keith," Shiro said. Keith cursed himself. Shiro had known him since he was fifteen. Of course, he would recognize when Keith's world was shattered beneath his feet. 

Keith shook his head, and he felt like the walls were closing in around him. He needed air. God, he needed space. He needed to leave. His head spun and it was his instincts telling him where to place his feet.

"Keith, you aren't our enemy," Lance said, but it was two minutes too late. 

"I'm sorry for wasting your time. I hope you find another paladin for Red." Keith said slowly, controlled. 

"Wait, Keith!" Pidge yelled. 

"I hope you all remain happy in your non-Galra family," Keith said, ducking his head to stare at the floor. And he darted out of the room before they could turn. 

∅

Keith grabbed his bag, stuffing in everything from his room. His clothes, his meager possessions. Thank god he barely had anything. Thank god he now had no one. 

Slinging it over his shoulder, he made sure to leave his bayard on his neatly made bed. Walking down the halls, he felt the warm presence in his mind. Red knew something was wrong. She always knew. But, now there was another one with her. It was darker, more powerful, but still worried. _Black_. Keith would have been touched any other time. But now, he had to leave. 

And he couldn't take Red. Even he wasn't that selfish. 

His tail lashing, Keith set off at a run until he reached the hanger. Grabbing the closest ship, he opened it and tossed his bag inside. Climbing inside, he shut the door and prepared to take off. Before he could hit the controls, the Lions pushed themselves into his mind with such force it made him cry out, clutching his head. 

"No!" he yelled. "I won't take you! I'm not that selfish!" 

Blearily, she started the ship and opened the hanger, managing to fly out without crashing. Black and Red purred sadly into his mind. They didn't want to see him leave. He didn't blame them. He didn't want to see him leave. 

Steeling himself, he opened a map and started flying towards the closest planet. Before much else could happen, his ship started to light up red. God, this was an Altean ship. Keith knew nothing about the Atlean language. God, he was stupid! This ship hadn't been flown in ten thousand years! 

He tried to gently steer it to the planet, but right as he reached the atmosphere, the thrusters lost power and Keith began to plummet. 

There was a huge explosion as a ship crash-landed onto a desert surface. 

A door was pulled open, and a small figure stepped out. Keith was okay, except for a few bruises. And he had a sneaking suspicion that was because he was Galra. Sighing, he looked out across the horizon. Looks like this was his new home.


	2. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look in the present, where the paladins meet Lotor face to face with his generals behind him.  
> or  
> k e i t h

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was thinking about how i tagged this slowburn, but i dont actually know if its gonna be slowburn cause i am the most impatient writer ever

_Keith lay, wounded and dying, on the ground. He was so tired._

_How easy would it be to just... let go? Close his eyes, and stop fighting. It would be so easy. And all of this pain, it would go away._

_Just as Keith began to let go, someone stooped down in front of him. Warm hands slid under his side, and Keith found himself being lifted into the air. He turned to try and see who had him, but all he could make out was white hair before his eyes finally drooped close._

Keith stood next to an uncharacteristically quiet Ezor. Next to Ezor was Narti, Kova on her shoulder as always. Lotor stood on Keith's other side, hands clasped behind his straightened back, always the prince. Next to him was Zethrid and Acxa. All six of them wore variants of the same kind of grey, black, orange, and blue armor. The colors of the Sincline ships. Ezor tossed her colorful hair over her shoulder, seeming to stand up even straighter. Out of all of them, Keith was the shortest. His armor had the high collar of paladin armor, but the sleek fit of Marmora. His tail was still behind him, and his ears were pricked for any noise. 

Lotor ran a hand through his hair before there was the sound of a ship landing.

Lotor had managed to draw a truce with the paladins of Voltron long enough for them to meet together. He wanted an alliance, just long enough to bring down his father and possibly win the Kral Zera. He wasn't hoping too much on the former. 

Now they stood in their Sincline ship, just having landed in the hangar of the Castle of Lions. Lotor takes a breath.

"With me," he says as the door opens and he walks forward. They fall into a formation, almost a line, but too spread out. Keith directly behind Lotor, then Ezor, Acxa, Narti, and Zethrid. As they file out, the paladins stand behind Allura. Keith takes care not to flatten his ears at the sight of the princess. It would give away too much. 

Instead, he keeps his eyes on Lotor as they stand next to their ship, and he begins speaking. 

"Princess Allura, it is always a pleasure to see you." He says with a smile and a quick dip of his head. 

"Prince Lotor," Allura says after a minute. 

Lance and Shiro seem to be staring intently at Keith, like they've seen him before. Keith doesn't blame them for not recognizing him.

"I'm sure you've met my generals before," Lotor gestures to each one as he announces their names. "Ezor, Narti and Kova, Acxa, Zethrid," he pauses. "and _Keith_."

A heavy heartbeat of silence hangs over the room. Keith hasn't moved or given any indication of emotion yet. 

"Keith?" Allura asks disbelievingly. 

"Do you know him?" Lotor asks, raising an eyebrow. Keith had told him everything, so he knew all of it already. But Lotor was always one mind games. 

Keith didn't quite get a chance to hear her answer before two odd presences shoved their way into his mind. Flinching ever so slightly, Keith gingerly reaches a hand up to touch the side of his head. They purred into his mind, almost forcefully. _Red and Black_. It was uncomfortable, but not painful.

That was before Sincline realized what was happening. She was smart, and since she was made from the same materials as Voltron, she was sentient as much as them. Her presence was darker, stronger, more forceful than the lions. When Keith had first arrived, she had welcomed him like a lost child. He had found out she was also as protective as a mother. 

She was trying to push the lions out of his mind, but they didn't seem to want to leave. It was a battle that no one could see. Keith was momentarily forgotten as the two fought against each other, and the pain was mounting. To keep from making noise, he bit his lip hard and struggled not to flatten his ears. His tail was still, thankfully. 

Taking in a shuddering breath, he tried to make his own presence known. Quietly, compared to the lions and Sincline, he tried to whisper. God, this sounded so stupid to him, even as they were physically paining him. After a particularly vicious shove from Sincline, Keith did flinch. He kept one hand on his head and continued biting down on the inside of his lip. Red and Black were getting more agitated by the minute, and Sincline was refusing to back down. 

Keith realized after tasting blood he had bitten through the inside of his lip. The pain from that was nothing compared to the pressure in his head. He felt like he would explode. 

After another flinch, the fight suddenly... _vanished_. They both disappeared from his head, leaving only echoes of the agony behind. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he lowered his hand and was proud to find that and the occasional flinch was the only sign he was in great pain. Lotor was talking with Allura about something, but Shiro was watching him. He had probably noticed. Keith knew Acxa, Ezor, Narti, and Zethrid would have noticed. They cared enough to watch. Lotor seemed to be casting him a glance out of the corner of his eye for a split second but then went back to speaking with Allura. 

Keith relaxed his painfully rigid stance a little.

Then Sincline threw herself back into his mind the same time as Red and Black did with such a force Keith blacked out and crumpled to the ground. 

∅

_Keith shot up._

_He was laying on a bed of sorts, a fire next to it giving off much-needed warmth. When Keith looked down, he noticed white bandages crisscrossing different sections of his body. Slowly, he raised a purple hand to touch one wrapped tightly around his torso._

_Then he looked up and around. Sitting at the edge of his makeshift bed, leaning against it while on the floor, was an odd man was pretty white hair. He looked young, and he had purple skin as well. He was wearing some odd sort of armor, but the thing that struck Keith was how peaceful he looked._

_Even sitting on the floor of some small cave, now that Keith looked around, dressed in armor after probably saving Keith's life, some Galra he didn't know, he looked peaceful. How odd. Keith slowly slid his legs out from under a soft grey blanket and found he was only in shorts. God, he hoped this man hadn't had to change him. That would have been beyond embarrassing. Keith's bloodstained clothes were folded in a pile on the floor neatly._

_There were a few bandages on Keith's legs, but they weren't as bad. Keith could still walk, he found as he carefully stood. After finding a corner out of view, Keith slowly changed back into his clothes. He was wearing dark ripped jeans with a black shirt and the same belt as always, with his red and white shoes and signature jacket._

_Keith walked over and folded the blanket up, leaving it on the bed. He felt bad for leaving like this, but he shouldn't cause this man more trouble than he already has. Keith's hair had been getting longer, and it now reached the small of his back. Grabbing his hair tie, which for some reason was around his wrist, he pulled it back loosely and grabbed his grey satchel from the corner. He didn't bother checking in it, because after he had saved Keith, this man was welcome to whatever Keith had._

_Slinging it over his shoulder, Keith started walking towards the entrance of the cave, where grey light filtered in. It was raining lightly, and it looked like they were near one of the mountains on this planet, close to a small forest._

_"Where are you going?"_

_Keith froze, his ear flicking back and his tail stilling as the man spoke. He had an odd accent to his words, and Keith turned to see intelligent blue eyes catching his._

_"Out," Keith said after a minute._

_A faint smile crept onto the man's face. "Out?"_

_Keith nodded._

_"You're injured." He said obviously._

_Keith huffed. "I didn't know. Thanks for telling me."_

_He laughed softly, and Keith was surprised by how easy it sounded._

_"Thank you for saving me, but I shouldn't be wasting any more of your time," Keith told him._

_"Wasting my time?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. "What makes you say that?"_

_"I'm sure you have better things to do than spend your time on a sad planet saving a creature that couldn't even survive a small skirmish."_

_"That skirmish didn't look very small. Who did you fight?"_

_Keith felt the odd urge to tell him everything. "Some local who wanted to take my things. I won, but not by very much."_

_He nodded. "What is your name?"_

_"You first," Keith said without thinking. Was that rude of him?_

_Instead of being offended, the man smiled. "I am Lotor."_

_"Keith."_

_"Keith?"_

"Keith?" 

Dream Lotor's voice faded into real Lotor's voice, and Keith struggled to open his eyes. His head ached awfully. Turning, Keith pushed himself to his feet with ease. He wouldn't sit on the floor. That was submissive. 

"Are you alright?" Lotor asked.

Keith touched his head lightly, finally opening his eyes. Lotor was in front of him, and Keith was surrounded by the others. The paladins and Allura wisely stayed away from them. Lotor looked worried.

"Yeah." He said.

"What happened?" Ezor asked. 

"I could tell Sincline was furious about something. I haven't seen her that worked up in a long time." Lotor said. 

"The lions are more attached to me than I thought." Keith still had a headache. 

"One of the lions called to you?" Lotor asked, disbelief in his voice.

Keith shook his head, leveling their gazes even though Lotor towered over him. "Red _and_ Black." 

"What?" Allura interjected, stepping forward. Keith turned to meet her gaze. "The Red lion spoke to you... and the Black lion?" 

"It made Sincline angry," Keith said. 

Allura turned her gaze back to Shiro, who looked as worried as Lotor. Something seemed to pass unsaid between them before Allura turned back to them. "What do you, 'Sincline was angry'?" 

"Sincline is our ship," Lotor said. 

"Is she... sentient?" Allura asked hesitantly. 

"She is made of the trans reality comet, after all," Lotor said with a nod. 

Shiro stepped forward. "It's late. Why don't we all get some rest and pick this up in the morning?" 

"One thing," Lance said. "Why do you have Keith?" 

Keith fought to keep his expression and stance unreadable. 

"What do you mean, 'have' Keith?" Lotor asked.

"I mean, what did you say to him to make him join you? Threaten someone? Promises of golds and riches? Taking over the galaxy? Or did you threaten to kill him? No, Keith doesn't seem to respond to death threats. The point is, why is he with you?" Lance asked. 

"...Because he came with us," Lotor said. He sounded confused. 

"You didn't take him?" Lance sounded disbelieving. 

"Why would Lotor take someone?" Ezor asked. 

"Because why else would Keith be with you guys now?" Lance challenged.

"Because I chose to be." Keith finally said after a moment. Lance looked at him like he was stupid, but Keith was tired and his head hurt so he just turned to go back into the ship. 

"Are you going to sleep in there?" Allura asked.

"Of course. Where else would we sleep?" Ezor said.

"We have rooms for you all," Allura said.

They looked to Lotor. He nodded. "We would be honored if you would let us use them for the time being."

Allura nodded. "Come, I will show you to them."

Keith quickly darted inside the ship as Allura turned, grabbing everyone's bags. They picked up spare clothes here and there, and nobody wanted to sleep in their armor. Walking back out, Keith handed the bags to the corresponding people and slung his own over his shoulder. They all had mismatching bags, but they were all small and lightweight. 

Allura led them down many halls lit up blue, and finally to a set of doors. They slid open, and Keith felt a slight shakiness come over him. This was exactly how Allura had kicked him out of the castle. She had been so angry, and snooping around, and-

Before Keith could go down this road, Ezor grabbed his hand. Keith smiled up at her in pure relief. Allura led them into a shared room with couches and tables, and on each side was a door leading to each of their separate rooms. Keith knew just by looking at them that he would not be able to sleep in one. Just the thought was enough to bring on a nervous breakdown. 

But when Allura left, he claimed one and walked inside. It was identical to the room he stayed in as a paladin, which didn't help him calm down. He set his bag on the bed and quickly changed from armor to a loose pair of shorts and a black shirt. The others had similar outfits. 

Keith needed to get used to this room. He would be staying in it for more than one night. He could do this. Grabbing his blade from inside the bag, he held the handle tightly and used it as a support. It was his link to keep him safe. 

Before he could do much else, the door opened. Keith turned to face it, and Ezor jumped in and started to drag him out. Keith managed to toss the blade onto the bed before Ezor forced him into the shared room. Acxa was sitting on the couch, dressed in shorts and a shirt like him. Ezor herself was wearing shorts that only came down mid-thigh and a hoodie they had found on a planet. It was technically Keith's, but he let Ezor have it even though it was three sizes too big because she liked the kind of stuff. Keith had stubbornly held onto his jacket as long as he could before he finally had to send it off. 

Ezor forced him onto the couch and had a huge grin on her face. "Weren't you once telling me about Earth traditions like this?" 

Sleepovers. Keith had made the mistake of mentioning them once in passing, and Ezor would never let him forget. "A sleepover?"

She nodded her head. "What do you do in one?"

Keith sighed, but he had a smile himself. "You stay up with other people and play different games and talk." 

"That sounds like so much fun!" Ezor looked thrilled. 

Lotor's door opened, and he stepped out in grey pants that stopped mid-calf and a black shirt. 

"Lotor!" Ezor squealed. "Let's have a sleepover!" 

"Why don't we do that another time?" He asked, amusement obvious in his voice. 

Ezor sighed. "Fine. But we're going to do it!" 

Lotor sat down on the couch across from Ezor and Keith, next to Acxa. Zethrid and Narti were probably asleep. They were always tired and weren't exactly conversational. But they were still a part of this odd group they made. 

"You-" Lotor started to say to Keith.

"No!" Ezor said. Lotor looked at her in confusion. "You're going to start talking about serious things and make the mood all sad. Don't try to deny either, you always a look on your face and right now you have that look. Right now, we are just focusing on the good things." 

Keith smiled at her. Ezor's happiness was infectious. 

∅

Allura stood at the head of the table, the paladins seated before her. 

"What are we doing to do?" 

It was a huge question that none of them knew quite how to answer. 

"The Red and Black lion refuse to be piloted since Keith left, so Voltron hasn't been around, and now that Keith has returned, he's on the enemy side," Allura said.

"Lotor isn't really an enemy," Pidge said.

"Maybe we could persuade Keith to come back?" Hunk said hopefully. 

"You know Keith. He had to make that decision on his own." Lance made a face.

"One of the biggest questions is why the Black lion isn't responding. Shiro is the pilot, but when Keith arrived, the lions seemed to respond to him. I checked security footage, and when he arrived, around the same time he first flinched, the lions turned on. Their Sincline ship is sentient as well." Allura took a seat. 

"Apparently Keith just has a likable personality," Pidge commented. "I can run some tests on Sincline, but only with their agreement."

"And we can try to include Keith in different activities," Shiro said. 

Allura nodded. "It's a start."

∅

Keith yawned. "I'm going to head to bed."

"Keith, come stay with me tonight!" Ezor said. Keith knew what she was really saying, and it was just another reason to love Ezor. 

Keith made a show of resisting, though. "Fine."

She grinned and dragged him to her room. Their relationship was completely platonic. And she was doing this because she knew Keith would have trouble on his own. Keith had told everyone about his past, but no one specifically about his panic attacks and nightmares that would take hours to calm down from. Ezor was probably guessing. And guessing right. 

Ezor slept on one end, and Keith slept on the other. This wasn't the first time they shared a bed. Out of everyone in the group, though Keith certainly loved the others, he was the closest with Ezor. They were like his family. 

And Keith knew they wouldn't abandon him because of who he was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i set the bar for word count really high, please dont hold me to it but they will be longer chapters


	3. Voltron Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith is too loved and it starts to show  
> or  
> *fighting noises* my turn to play with keith!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early chapter this week normally its one a week but i wanted to publish it .p.

Keith woke up the next morning slowly. 

Ezor was snoring at the other end of the bed, but she didn't wake him. For some reason, Keith's body was just hardwired to wake up at this moment. This morning, though, it happened as if in slow motion. He kept his eyes closed, letting the events of the previous day wash over him. After a while, he opened his eyes, and even longer after that, he rose from the bed, careful not to wake Ezor. She slept until woken, no matter how long it had been. 

Keith didn't put on his armor yet but instead threw on the hoodie Ezor liked. He yawned, then opened the door to the shared room. It was empty, a peaceful quiet cast over it. Keith walked over and sat on the couch, vaguely wishing for the space caffeine that Lotor sometimes found. 

Sitting there, blinking his eyes slowly, he just let his mind drift. Just as he started overthinking the language he no longer spoke, English, another door opened. Keith looked up and found Narti standing there. She was dressed in her armor, as always, and she walked over and sat down across from him. Kova jumped across the couches, landing on Keith's lap and looking up at him. Keith smiled and gently pet the top of its head. 

Keith rested one elbow on the arm of the couch and idly petted Kova. He didn't really think about anything, really. Just random thoughts that would drift in and out. 

Another door opened, and Acxa stepped out, not dressed in her armor either. Stretching, she walked over and sat down next to Keith. 

"I guess we're the first ones up?" She asked. 

Keith nodded, yawning.

"I need caffeine. I'm sure this castle is bound to have some." Acxa clapped energetically, stifling another yawn. "Narti, go wake Zethrid, I'll wake Ezor, and Keith can wake Lotor."

Lotor was a different kind of sleeper.

He slept until woken like Ezor, but he was completely unpredictable in his morning moods. They ranged from furious to plain giddy. The others took turns waking him. Ezor had been thrown out of the room once, Zethrid had been hugged, and Acxa got into a fight because she wouldn't back down. She was removed from the rotation after that. Keith didn't like to wake him up, so he purposely hid. 

Now he had no choice.

Keith swallowed and opened the door to Lotor's room, letting it shut behind him. Slowly, he walked up to Lotor's bed. He slept peacefully, his white hair obscuring his face as he lay facing away from Keith. Gingerly, Keith tapped his shoulder.

"Lotor, wake up." He said. Flinching back, he prepared for the worst.

Instead, there was silence. Keith straightened, one ear pricked as he tilted his head in curiosity. Carefully, he touched his shoulder again. He still didn't wake up. This time, Keith laid his whole hand on his shoulder and gently shook him.

"Lotor, it's time to get up." Keith felt like an annoying alarm clock. 

Lotor stayed still, and Keith determined he was doing the 'play dead' equivalent of not getting up. Keith needed caffeine and he didn't have time for this.

Leaning over Lotor, he brushed his white hair out of his face. Keith's own black hair fell over his shoulders, touching Lotor's shoulder. He saw Lotor really was asleep still, and he looked peaceful. Just the same as the day he first saw him, after he had rescued him and saved his life. 

But that wasn't today, and if Keith didn't have caffeine or something like that he would most likely go insane. So he touched the side of Lotor's face with his hand, trying to be as gentle as possible. In his sleepiness, Keith was really taking into account how close they were. 

"Lotor, wake up." It was said quietly, but there was no softness to it.

A tired Keith was not a happy Keith. 

Finally, Lotor's eyes opened. Blue met yellow, and they stared at each other for a moment. 

Then Lotor managed to completely ruin the moment by turning and wrapping his arms around Keith, yanking him down.

Keith's ears flattened as his fur spiked, but he froze in shock.

"What in the name of the Galra do you think you are doing?" Keith hissed after a minute. He had fallen when Lotor yanked him down, so his cheek was pressed against his chest and he was awkwardly splayed on top of him. Keith braced his hands on either side of Lotor and tried to sit up, but Lotor's grip didn't falter.

"If you stay longer than I can sleep longer."

Keith wanted to slap him. He wasn't even embarrassed at this point, just tired. 

"Let go of me."

In response, Lotor turned over so that Keith was now pressed against his side, one leg over his, the other on the bed. His entire front was pressed against Lotor. He hoped Zethrid hadn't gotten this type of hug before. 

"Sleep."

"Lotor, you need to get up so that we can leave this room and I can have space coffee. Otherwise, I will ruin your perfect face with ugly scratches and not feel bad at all." Keith said evenly. 

"You wouldn't," Lotor said.

Keith was not one to be tested this morning. He froze and Lotor's grip relaxed, and then Keith managed to expertly slip out of his grasp, flipping himself over and twisting so that he was now...

Keith finally realized how close they were when he saw he was quite literally _straddling him_. Even as a bright red blush covered his entire face, Keith was mad.

"You are going to get up."

"Am I?" Lotor asked smoothly with a small smile.

Keith moved off the bed, onto the floor, and walked over to his bag. He grabbed his armor, then walked back over to the bed, and proceeded to dump it onto Lotor. Lotor shot up, hair sticking up in odd places. He looked at Keith with an offended expression.

"Get dressed," Keith said sharply, walking out of the room. There wasn't anyone in the shared room, so he made a beeline for his room and grabbed his armor to get dressed. Stifling another yawn, he slowly pulled it on, adjusting and tightening in some spots, while loosening in others. His armor always did that, no matter what he tried. 

Finally, Keith strapped his blade to a belt around his waist. After doing a quick once over, he walked out of the room. Everyone except for Lotor was gathered, all dressed in their armor. Ezor looked groggier than Keith felt.

"Space coffee?" He asked her.

She turned a bleary gaze to his. "Space coffee." 

Smiling a bit, Keith flicked one ear as Lotor's door opened, and the prince walked out in all his glory. With a smile, he gestured towards the exit. The team filed out, Keith glaring at him briefly before walking beside Ezor. 

"Ezor, you have to at least _appear_ alive until we get there. The paladins can't see this as a weakness." Keith said.

She nodded and forced a smile onto her face. Keith poked her side playfully, she got a real smile. She poked him back, and then they were just poking each other for fun. It was much better than having to wake up Lotor, that was certain. 

Lotor cleared his throat, and Ezor and Keith immediately dropped their hands and blanked their expressions. There was a drone that glowed blue in front of them.

"It must be a guide," Lotor said. "Please, lead the way." 

It turned and flew down the hall, leaving the group to keep pace. Keith let his tail sway gently as he walked, focusing most of his energy on hoping for space coffee. Finally, the drone emerged into a dining area Keith didn't remember. The paladins sat at the table, Allura at the head resting her chin on steepled fingers.

Lotor didn't make any move to sit, even though there was enough room for all of them. "Princess, how are you?"

"Sit with us, Prince Lotor," Allura said, staring him down. The way she spoke clearly held no respect for his title. 

"I can't refuse an invitation like that, I suppose," Lotor replied with a smile, walking and sitting down at the end of the table. Keith and the others didn't move.

"Can we offer you anything?" Coran asked.

"Do you have caffeine?" Lotor asked. 

Coran nodded, and Lotor gestured to the people standing behind him. Keith was silently thanking the castle for having some. Ezor looked happier. Coran disappeared for a moment, returning with six cups on a tray. Walking over, he set them on the table. It was a clear sign.

Acxa moved first, going to sit next to Lotor. Then Narti, and Zethrid, and finally Ezor. Keith moved the last, warily walking over and sitting at the last available seat, which just so happened to be next to Lance. Keith carefully took a sip from his cup, ignoring how the liquid burned his tongue and feeling more awake by the second. 

"How did you sleep, princess?" Lotor asked politely. 

"As well as could be expected," Allura said. "But I'm sure you know we are not here to speak on formalities." 

"I'll begin," Lotor spoke immediately. "Why hasn't anyone seen Voltron in two decaphoebs?" 

Allura's gaze noticeably cooled. "Where are your sources?"

"The thousands of drones and scouts of the Galra Empire, and citizens of different planets. The coalition is apparently still in effect, but Voltron themselves have not been seen in quite some time." Lotor said. "And to be added, only the Blue, Yellow, and Green lions have been seen. The Red and Black have been conspicuously absent."

"What are you trying to say?" Allura asked stiffly. 

Lotor's smile was sharp. "Keith was contacted by both the Red and Black lions yesterday, as seen by his collapse when Sincline tried to stop it."

" _Allegedly_ ," Allura said sharply.

"Are you doubting his word?" Lotor retorted nearly a tick after Allura. 

Allura seemed uncomfortable, but it was Shiro who spoke. "We could easily believe if it was Red, but Red _and_ Black?"

"What could Keith do to prove this to you?" Lotor asked. 

"Try and pilot them both," Lance said before anyone else could.

"Lance!" Allura hissed.

"Are you opposed to the idea? Do you have a better one?" The prince asked smoothly. 

Allura seemed to grit her teeth. "Of course not, why don't we head down to the hangar?"

Lotor nodded, and he stood first. Keith and his entourage stood just as quick, following him out of the room. Keith took a deep breath and walked up to Lotor. He could still remember the path to the hangar like he had walked it yesterday.

"Are you okay with this? I forgot to ask." Lotor asked quietly.

Keith only nodded, taking a turn down another hall. Soon, they arrived at a huge door. Keith pressed his palm to the door. It opened for pilots of the lions.

The door slid open with a quiet hiss, and Keith closed his eyes for a minute before stepping into the room. Five lions loomed above him, each one still. As Keith stared at Red, he felt her presence in his mind. There was a welcoming purr. 

"Keith, would you like to try?" Allura asked.

Keith snapped his head around, flattening his ears. He hadn't noticed her or the other paladins enter the room. She looked almost out of place in her armor. Keith nodded, walking over to Red. 

The lion reached down and opened its mouth, as was custom for anyone who wanted to pilot it. Keith walked in, not looking back.

The lights were bright as he walked forward, and appeared in the cockpit. He recognized the seat, the controls, everything. Keith missed them so much. He carefully took a seat and closed his eyes. 

_Red, don't accept me. Make it look like I was lying. They will force me back_ , Keith whispered. He didn't want this. He didn't want any of this. He was not the pilot of the Red Lion, not anymore. But when he opened his eyes, the lion was glowing and Keith could see the shocked faces of the paladins below. Red roared before carefully dipping her head back down.

Keith walked out and was greeted by a silence that set him on edge. 

Shiro recovered first. "Try the Black Lion." 

Keith turned to the Black Lion, who stood stoically. There was no way he could pilot Black. Shiro was its pilot, the leader of Voltron. Black was probably just annoyed because Red didn't have a willing pilot. So Keith waited for the Black Lion to let him in, and when he stepped up to an unfamiliar cockpit, it seemed so strangely familiar.

Keith sat and just waited. He didn't try to connect or push it away. Maybe if he did this, it wouldn't sense him. 

Life had other plans.

A purple glow filled the space and Keith could see the paladins just watching with their mouths gaping. Lance was shouting some nonsense, Pidge was adjusting her glasses, Hunk staring at Black, Allura looking offended, and Shiro looking impossibly sad. 

When Keith walked out of the Lion, Lotor was smirking. The others had unreadable expressions. Keith awkwardly walked over and stood next to Lotor.

"Can Keith also pilot your, _Sincline_?" Allura asked, sounded disgusted at the mere mention of Sincline.

"He has never tried, now that I think about it," Lotor said. "But Sincline is not as picky about her pilots as your precious Lions are. He would most likely be able to pilot it with ease. I feel that your Lions are more curious than my Sincline."

"I suppose that rules out that test." Allura sighed. "I would like to have a private conversation with my paladins. Please feel free to explore the castle and entertain yourselves." 

Keith knew that meant the drone from earlier would be following them around. He didn't particularly care. There was a heavy silence, and one Keith was not eager to let spread. He turned to his crew. "Let's go spar on the training deck."

Ezor's face lit up. "There's a training deck?"

She energetically grabbed Acxa's hand and dramatically gestured for Keith to lead the way. Keith laughed a little, before turning and walking out of the control room. He hadn't been to the training deck since the day he left. It would be fun to try it again. That was one of the only things he missed from this castle. 

Keith was right. Soon enough, the drone from earlier appeared.

"I don't like it," Zethrid said, curling her lip.

Keith shrugged. "It could be worse. At least Allura is giving us this much freedom, which is surprising." 

Zethrid didn't reply, and the rest of the walk was in comfortable silence. When they reached the training deck, Keith disabled the gladiators and left the floor open for them to just fight. He turned to the others. 

"One on one matches?" He asked.

Ezor shook her head. "Two on two on two!" 

Keith raised an eyebrow, then glanced at Lotor. He had been uncharacteristically quiet. When he looked up, he caught Lotor staring at him. Keith looked away before a blush could stain his cheeks. 

"Okay. Who's picking teams?"

Ezor spoke before anyone else could. "I choose Keith!" 

Keith laughed as she practically hopped over to him, grabbing his arm affectionately. Lotor ended with Narti, and Acxa with Zethrid. This would be interesting. It was more fun to spar together because everyone knew each other's weaknesses. 

"Can we have weapons?" Acxa asked. 

Keith nodded. "Yeah."

"We should all have matching weapons to make it fair," Lotor said. "Let's keep it simple and stick with staffs."

"You're no fun," Zethrid grumbled, but there was a small smile on her face. The room provided the staff, and Keith sank into a fighting position with Ezor. He and she had sort of an unfair advantage since they worked together the most and fought together often. 

The training room beeped loudly, and Lotor and Narti leapt into motion first. Kova was unseen, hidden away somewhere to safely be Narti's eyes and ears. Narti slid over to Acxa and Zethrid, blocking a blow from Zethrid easily and ducking out of the way of Acxa. Blocking another jab with her forearm, she ducked and swept out her powerful tail. Zethrid tried to jump out of the way, but it caught her slightly. Acxa darted over, catching her weight. 

Lotor headed towards them. It was an interesting strategy. It was true Narti and Lotor were the better fighters of the team, but they seemed to be underestimating what pairs could do. Lotor smiled charmingly as he calmly walked over.

Keith locked eyes with Ezor, and unspoken words passed between them. Ezor nodded, no sign of her smile, then turned and charged Lotor. Lotor blocked her staff, and Ezor used her momentum to flip herself over Lotor's head. Keith ducked down and swept out a leg, just managing to make Lotor start to fall. 

He used his staff to hold himself up, regaining balance easily. Ezor swung at him from behind, and when he turned his head a fraction of an inch to block her, Keith swung his staff to hit him on the right of his torso. Lotor managed to block Ezor with his staff and reached up a forearm to use his armor to block. Keith let the blow weaken and glance off, twisting to land a punch on the nerve center of his arm, weakening his block against Ezor.

His arm gave out, even through the armor, and Ezor used her weight to shove him to the floor. He was about to twist and fancily throw her off, but Keith turned and caught the side of his ribs with his knee. It wasn't meant to hurt, but it did finish pushing him off balance. Lotor fell to the floor sideways, and it glowed red at the same time as the other side. Narti and Lotor were out. That left Keith and Ezor against Acxa and Zethrid. 

Both of them were panting heavily, while Ezor and Keith had only increased heart rates by about twenty. Keith lashed his tail, flicking one ear. Then he melted into motion, running forward, and letting himself fall back to slide on the floor and ram both of his feet into Zethrid's ankles, knocking her backward. Before Acxa could swing, Ezor jumped off his shoulders and crouched in the air, swinging her staff around.

Acxa was just barely fast enough to block, but fast enough to avoid Keith kicking the back of her knees, and even through the armor, she fell forward. Ezor turned and kicked her back, forcing her to fall. The room lit up red, and Zethrid just managed to stand. She still wasn't out, technically. But there was no chance of her beating Keith and Ezor. 

Ezor feinted left, which Zethrid saw and started to block right, but Ezor followed through with the left and landed a hard blow to her side. Keith sprang up and spun so he was behind Zethrid, then used the end of his staff to push her forward. Ezor used her own staff to push her more, and Keith slammed a palm onto her back. Zethrid toppled, and the room flashed red. 

Ezor and Keith had won. 

They were both panting at this point, and Keith's tail was swaying back and forth gently. There was a heartbeat of silence before Ezor lit up with a grin so huge it stretched ear to ear. She looked ecstatic. 

"We won!" She squealed, fiercely hugging Keith. Keith burst out laughing as he hugged her back, and she bounced over to Zethrid and offered a hand. Zethrid grunted as she took it, pulling herself up. Narti and Lotor were standing out of the way, so Keith offered Acxa a hand. She was smiling as she took it, standing easily. Neither of them needed help, but it was a way to show thanks. 

"Good job, you two," Lotor said with a faint smile. 

Keith flicked an ear back, and his expression blanked. He turned, and Allura and her paladins were standing in the doorway. Pidge's glasses were slightly askew, and they all had varying levels of shock on their faces. Ezor noticed next, her joyful expression disappearing for one of indifference. 

"Princess," Lotor greeted. 

Allura closed her mouth, clearing her throat and blinking a couple of times. "Prince Lotor. I thought you would be sparring with the gladiators."

He smiled. "Let's not lie, princess. Your drone was watching us the whole time." 

Keith idly flicked his tail, one ear slightly slanted back. 

"Was that sparring a normal affair?" Shiro asked. 

Lotor nodded. "It's just a small practice we like to do. It's not really taken very seriously." 

Lance still had his mouth open and was oddly silent. Keith couldn't help but feel a flicker of pride. He had been active since he left. 

"Would you all like to join us for dinner tonight?" Allura asked. 

Lotor seemed to contemplate for a second before answering. "We would be delighted to."

She nodded. Shiro spoke next. "Keith, do you want to come with us? We were going to eat a quick snack before doing some training ourselves."

Keith flicked his ear. "I am going to continue training with the rest of my crew." 

Shiro's face seemed to fall, as well as the other paladins, but he nodded. Keith didn't feel bad about ignoring his request. 

Allura excused herself, and they all left. 

Ezor broke out in giggles. "Did you see the look on the Black paladin's face?" 

Keith broke into a smile. "I can't believe they actually cared."

"But we won!" Ezor cheered. "I feel like that requires something from the others."

Lotor raised an eyebrow, a small smile touching his features. "What kind of reward would that be?" 

Ezor touched her chin thoughtfully. She knew Keith would be fine with whatever she chose. Then she smirked as she pointed at Lotor. "I get to play with your hair."

Lotor looked unpleasantly surprised. "I would rather not."

"Too bad!" She sang, grinning. 

Keith stifled a laugh. Ezor was ridiculous, and Lotor didn't let anyone touch his pristine white hair. She must be getting bored. Ezor was always playing with Keith's hair since he was the only one in the crew that didn't care. Keith was curious to see what she would do with Lotor's. 

Ezor grabbed Keith's hand. "Let's see what other exercises this training deck has. We'll beat the others at all of them." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love ezor so much writing her is amazing


	4. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is a lot of tension with keith between dinner and a couple other things  
> or  
> gosh keith you're so popular

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know how much longer this fic will 'slowburn' because i suck at writing slowburns
> 
> *gasp* three chapters in a week?!! i write way too much please dont continue expecting this much it'll even out soon 
> 
> trigger warning: self hate, self harm, suicidal thoughts  
> if you dont want to read it, please skip from the paragraph when he wakes up from his nightmare to the lions start roaring one.

Keith sat in the shared room, fiddling with his blade as Ezor messed around with his hair. 

They had finished their exercises shortly before and then showered before returning here. Ezor and Keith had beaten all of them at every exercise except for one, where Lotor and Narti won. Lotor had demanded a prize and used it to cancel out Ezor's first one. He was very attached to his hair. 

"Can I see your sword?" Acxa asked.

Keith looked up, and nodded, one ear flicking as he tossed it to her. She caught it with ease and looked at it.

"You said you got this from your mom?"

"Dad, technically, even though it was my mom's." Keith corrected.

Ezor seemed to possibly... braiding his hair? 

"Where did you say it was from?"

"The Blade of Marmora. It's a secret rebel organization aiming to take down Zarkon." 

Lotor smiled from on one of the couches. "I assume they'll be our next allies, especially if these paladins do not work out. Zarkon must fall."

Acxa hummed in agreement, then tossed Keith's blade back to him. 

"Can you make it turn into a sword?" Ezor asked from behind him.

Keith nodded, earning a whine from Ezor, who was still doing his hair. At the slightest hint of concentration, the knife glowed and expanded into a curved sword. "It's made of pure luxite."

"Luxite?" Lotor asked. "Interesting. That is one of the hardest materials to tame. There are few in the universe who know how. The planet where it was found was lost, as well."

Narti tapped her foot against the floor in different patterns. _Kova says the drone is outside the door_.

When Keith arrived in the group, he had taught everyone a rare communication pattern from Earth: Morse Code. It was for Narti to speak. 

"I suppose it must be here to escort us to our little dinner with the princess and her paladins." Lotor sighed, standing and stretching briefly. Ezor made Keith sit still for another few minutes before letting him stand, and Keith quickly glanced at his face through the reflection on his knife. It looked like Ezor had only done one braid on the side of her head, closer to the side of his face. It didn't really matter since it was small. 

Keith followed the others out of the room, slipping his knife into its sheath as he walked. With the drone so eerily close, they were all silent as they walked to the dining room. When the arrived, the paladins and their princess were already seated. Lotor sat where he did last time, directly across from the princess. This time, Keith sat to the right of Lotor, with Ezor on his left. Acxa sat on Lotor's left, with Zethrid next to her and Narti on her side, Kova perched on her shoulder. 

"How was the rest of your training, Prince Lotor?" Allura asked politely as Coran appeared, setting down plates in front of everyone. 

"It was good, princess. Maybe one day we could do a joint sparring session." Lotor suggested.

"How about tomorrow morning?" Lance jumped in loudly.

Lotor blinked, before giving a small smile. "That would be perfect." 

Keith looked down at his food, which looked vaguely appetizing. That meant Hunk cooked it. The paladin in question was currently staring at Keith uncomfortably. There was an awkward silence as Ezor took the first bite of her food, and though she didn't say anything and kept her expression blank, Keith had known her long enough to tell that she loved it. He took a bite of his own, and she was right: it was delicious. 

"Where have you all been traveling?" Shiro asked. 

"Everywhere, really. We've been collecting intel, for the most part." Lotor replied. 

Keith nearly snorted as he thought how Lotor had collected him on their travels. Instead, he flicked an ear, taking another bite of food. Pidge was watching him this time. God, this was really tense and uncomfortable. Keith wished he was back in the shared room, sleeping if nothing else. 

Was he supposed to say something to break the silence? Give the table something to discuss? He wanted this meal to be over. Lotor looked at ease, but he always looked at ease. 

"How did Keith come to join you?" Lance asked. 

Keith's ears pinned back automatically, and he stilled. His tail, which he was idly flicking beneath the table, froze. Was he supposed to answer that? Keith just started screaming internally. 

Lotor smiled the wolf smile. "I found him dying on a hostile planet."

Everyone seemed to stop breathing, which Keith stopped doing a few seconds before. 

"Dying?" Shiro asked, worry creeping into his tone and expression. It only annoyed Keith. He cared now? 

"There was a fight. He won, but not without a cost." Lotor said. 

Keith managed to suck in a silent breath, his heart beating intensely. The silence carried on until Shiro decided to break it in the worst way.

He turned to address Keith himself. "Are you alright? I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Keith was more annoyed now. "It was over two decaphoebs ago."

"There are different kinds of wounds," Shiro replied solemnly.

Was he suggesting Keith was suffering a mental issue? "It's fine."

"We tried looking for you," Pidge said quietly.

Keith looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "Really?" 

"Of course," Allura said. "We needed our Red paladin to fly the Lion and form Voltron." 

Keith was finished with this meal. Slowly, he stood at the table and turned to walk out, not saying anything. He was wrong. They hadn't changed. They just wanted him back to be a pilot. They didn't want _him_ back. Just his piloting skills. 

"Keith, where are you going?" Lance asked.

"If you only looked for me because you wanted your paladin for the Red Lion, I hope that Voltron is never formed again," Keith said quietly, leaving the room. Why would he ever think anything better of them? Why would they ever think anything better of him? 

∅

_"You're our enemy," Allura told him._

_Keith shook his head, backing away, his ears flattening to his head. He turned and came face-to-face with his human half. The normal colored skin, the pupils, the white sclera. It stared at him silently, and Keith fell to his knees. Why couldn't he go back? If he could back, the others would accept him._

_"You aren't worth it," His human half whispered with a wicked smile._

_Keith turned around to run away and found his father in front of him._

_"Your mother ran away because she knew the monster you would become," he said. "why do you think I walked into that burning building?"_

_Keith shook his head violently, backing up again. This time, he bumped into legs. Slowly, he turned to look up at Shiro._

_"I should have left you in the desert, just like you're parents. You are nothing, and will never be anything."_

_Keith covered his ears and shut his eyes, letting tears roll down his face._

_He couldn't even refute it._

Keith shot up in his bed, covered in sweat with tears trailing down his cheeks. He was sleeping alone tonight in his room. He looked around, and for a minute, he was stuck back in that time before the others found out he was half-Galra. 

Keith caught his reflection in a mirror, his glowing eyes, his purple skin, his ears, his tail. Why did he have to be like this? Why couldn't be normal? Keith pulled his legs up to his chest and buried his face in his arms, scrunched in the corner, crying softly. 

He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to exist.

Why did have to exist? 

Keith pulled at his ears, yanking on them painfully. These ears, they were part of his pain. His tail, his very skin, they were all part of his pain. It hurt, so, so, much. But if he didn't have them, he would be fine. If his eyes were normal, if his ears were just like humans, it would be fine. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted his knife on the edge of the bed. It was so close, just in his reach. He could end it all. Tears still trailing down his face, Keith reached out and grabbed it, catching another glimpse of his face. He looked so pitiful, so pathetic, it was ridiculous. He wasn't strong. 

Keith, with steady hands, slowly pressed the knife onto his upper arm. The skin stretched but didn't break. Could he do it? Was he able to? He pressed down a little harder, and flinched back and hissed in pain as the skin broke and red blood gently trickled down the side of his arm. He was completely mesmerized by it. It hurt, God did it hurt, but it also felt so good. Like a release. 

Could he do more? 

It was like Keith was in a trance as he prepared to cut deeper. It would feel so good, just a little more. 

Before he could, a loud roaring echoed through his room. Keith darted up instinctively, holding his blade poised for attack. Two presences slid into his mind: Red and Black. They purred into his mind, bringing him down from the pain induced euphoria. They were so comforting, it almost blocked out the roaring that still echoed throughout the castle. 

Keith knew he had to get up, but he was suddenly so tired. Quickly, he wiped the blood off of his knife with his black shirt and shoved it under his pillow, standing and going over to his bag. He always kept a roll of gauze on hand. Wrapping it tightly in one layer around the cut on his upper arm, he cut it with his fangs. The Lions hung around in his mind still, keeping him company.

~~Keeping him safe from himself~~.

Keith opened his door as there was another roar in the castle, and found the others already in the shared room. They weren't in armor, even Narti and Zethrid were in shorts and shirts. Lotor glanced at Keith sharply as he walked out before running a hand through his hair.

"Get dressed and meet me back out here." He ordered, and Keith turned and darted back into his room. Before the door closed, though, Lotor slipped inside. Keith turned, swallowing as the man loomed over him. 

"Are you alright?" He looked worried.

Keith nodded, nonchalantly wiping his face with an arm to make sure his tears were gone. His ears were slightly sore from when he was yanking on them. 

Lotor noticed quickly. "Why is there a bandage around your arm?"

"I accidentally cut myself on my knife when I fell," Keith said smoothly. 

Lotor narrowed his eyes. "You fell?"

Keith nodded. "When the Lions started roaring I fell off the bed. My knife was on the floor."

"That doesn't look like a scrape," Lotor said suspiciously. 

Keith rolled his eyes. "Can I get dressed now?"

Lotor left, but he looked unconvinced. Red purred again in his mind, and another roar echoed throughout the castle. Keith quickly pulled on his armor, slipping his knife into its sheath before stepping out of his room. Lotor walked out the same time as him, and Keith jumped forward. He rushed out of the room, followed by the others, guiding him through the castle. 

They reached the Lions' hangar quickly. The other paladins and the princess were already there, but they were dressed in sleep clothes. 

"What is going on?" Lotor asked, not bothering for formalities. 

Allura turned. "We don't know. Red and Black started roaring randomly, and Blue won't turn on at all." 

Keith had only a moment to be surprised at Allura's easy information before Lotor replied tersely, "Can you find out why they're roaring?"

Hunk spoke this time. "Maybe it has to do with Keith? I mean, Red and Black both responded to him last time."

"That doesn't explain Blue, though!" Lance yelled. 

"I am trying!" Pidge replied, typing away at some screen in front of her. 

_They responded to my pain_ , Keith realized. But he couldn't just admit to everyone that was about to kill himself! He couldn't even give away his nightmare. It would be showing weakness to these paladins. Allies or not, Keith would never do that with them again. He flicked another ear, not sure what to say. 

Lotor seemed to come to the same conclusion, judging by the look he gave Keith. Keith made sure to ignore him. They all kind of stood there until Black roared so loud it shook the entire hangar. A few paladins fell over, but Lotor and his crew were perfectly still. 

Keith wasn't sure what to do, but in his mind, Red was trying to tell him something. He couldn't tell what, but it seemed important. Not knowing what else to do, Keith walked forward until he was right in front of Red. Black seemed to purr in approval, and Keith looked at Red.

Before he could do much else, the Lion stooped down and scooped up Keith in its mouth. 

Keith yelped as he was now stuck inside the Red Lion, tumbling forward as it stood. Shakily, he walked over to the cockpit. It was already glowing as the Lion shook itself out.

"Lotor?" Keith spoke into his communications device. Lotor was silent, and that was before Red decided to take a running leap forward. Keith couldn't do anything as it roared and leaped forward. The castle opened the Lion's entrance automatically as Red dove into space.

This was not good.

"Help?" Keith spluttered as the Lion flew on its own. 

"Keith?!" Allura appeared on a screen on his dashboard.

"Allura?" Keith was about to panic. 

"What did you do?!" She yelled.

"I didn't do anything!" Keith replied tersely, lifting his hands. "I'm not even piloting!" 

She looked worried, and Keith noticed they were nearing a planet. His stomach plummetted as his ears pinned back.

"Keith, what's wrong?" Allura noticed.

"I know where we're going..." Keith said softly. 

"Where?!" Allura asked very rudely.

Keith just reached up a hand and closed the chat. He knew exactly where he was heading. But why would Red bring him there? The Lion seemed to speed up as it reached the surface, diving headfirst into the atmosphere. Keith was frozen, watching the familiar ground. They were heading towards the planet where Lotor found him. 

The Lion seemed to know exactly where on the planet they were headed, and changed course. Keith narrowed his eyes in confusion. They were heading for one of the mountains with a small bit of forest beneath it. The place of his old home.

Red landed easily on the ground and reached down to let him out. Keith slowly rose, walking out of the Lion. Red sat, her eyes fading. Why was he here again? Out of the corner of his eye, Keith spotted the small cave where Lotor nursed him back to health. 

Keith felt like he was in a trance as he walked over, trailing a hand over the rock as he stepped inside. It was so eerily familiar. There was still the bed there, with an ancient folded blanket. There were remnants of a fire, and Keith noticed scratches on the floor. Scratches?

He knelt down to trace them when there was the sound of something moving behind him.

Keith stood and whipped around, his knife in his hand. What had made those scratches... and that noise?

There was a low growling coming from the bed.

He turned, preparing to strike.

A wolf pup stood on the bed. 

It had dark blue fur and a light blue mane running from its neck to covering its entire tail. There were electric blue markings on its side, top of its ears, and legs, and it had a white forehead and white markings on the sides of its muzzle. 

"Who are you?" Keith asked quietly.

The wolf pup was small, and it was still bristling. It barked before turning and darting out of the cave. Keith blinked twice before running after it. He struggled to run after it as it entered the woods, jumping over toppled trees and thorny bushes with ease. 

Keith tripped over brambles before falling. Slowly, he stood up, shaking his ear and flicking his tail, which thankfully did not get caught. 

The wolf pup yelped somewhere in front of him, and Keith rushed forward again. A greasy little blue-skinned man was standing in front of it, licking his lips in anticipation and holding a sharp, serrated knife. 

"Leave it alone," Keith said, glaring at the man.

He looked up and curled his lip. "Or what, foreigner?" 

Keith drew his knife. He would not let this man hurt the pup. The man held his knife like a sword and charged forward. Keith blocked with his own knife, landing a hard punch to the side of the man's ribs. He grunted as Keith ducked and swept his legs out from under him. 

Keith landed a sharp kick to his arm, jumping back. Before he could get out of reach, the man tossed the knife expertly. The serrated edge buried itself in Keith's upper arm, just above where he had cut himself earlier. Keith grunted in pain, shifting his stance slightly. 

The man was reaching to grab Kosmo, but Keith quickly shifted his knife into a sword and swung it. It sliced through the man's arm, almost scraping bone. The man screamed and fell back, baring his teeth before scurrying off into the brush. 

Keith fell to his knees, pulling the knife out of his arm. Blood ran down it in a river, and he was losing too much too quickly. He needed to staunch the bleeding. Keith set his knife on the ground, searching for something to wrap around it. 

As he watched, the wolf pup disappeared in a shower of sparkles.

Literal sparkles.

Well, Keith was in trouble. Hopefully Red would get him back to the castle soon. Keith clutched his arm, ignoring the blood seeping into his armor. Right as the world began to sway, the pup reappeared in more sparkles. That was so weird.

It held out the ancient blanket, whining gently. 

Keith furrowed his brow but took it, using his knife to cut a slice of it and wrap tightly around his arm. He needed to get out of there quickly. He would not die on this planet. Keith shakily stood, shaking his head to try and clear the fogginess. His head hurt. 

The wolf pup brushed its nose against Keith's leg. He smiled and reached down, just managing to pick it up and hold it in his arms. Maybe this pup was the reason Red brought him here. Interesting. 

Before Keith could take a step forward, he and the pup turned into sparkles. When his vision cleared, Keith was sitting in the cockpit of the Red Lion. What? Keith didn't comment but set the pup down on his lap. The Red Lion took off easily, flying through the atmosphere without much of a problem. Keith already felt better. 

He could properly bandage it back at the castle. 

He looked around at the stars around him, then to the pup in his lap. _He_ looked up at Keith with bright yellow eyes. Yellow... just like him. Keith smiled. 

"I'll call you..." he looked around. "Kosmo."

The pup licked his face, making Keith laugh. This pup was interesting. The markings on its side seemed to glow in the light of the Red Lion, and his mane seemed to as well. It was very... luminous. The Red Lion soon enough reappeared at the castle.

Before it landed, Keith took a minute to realize how strange this must all be. The Red Lion, whom he hadn't piloted for two decaphoebs but still only answered to him, randomly snatched him from the hangar and flew him to this planet, where he found this random wolf pup after fighting someone for it. 

Keith laughed slightly before they landed, the Red Lion dipping its head to let him free. Lotor and the others stood waiting at attention for Keith, as were the other paladins. Keith didn't need to worry about them, though. 

Keith slowly walked out, Kosmo in his arms. 

He looked over to Lotor, who stared at him in utter disbelief. 

"Ta-da," Keith said weakly.

∅

Keith stood in his room, bandaging his upper arm properly. The knife had cut a lot deeper than Keith liked to acknowledge, but with some gauze, it would be fine. Kosmo sat on his bed, watching him intently. When he had first arrived, nobody had been able to speak for a minute. Then Lotor had asked for Keith to come back to the shared space. 

Allura had been too shocked to deny, and Keith carried Kosmo through the halls and back there. Lotor then forced Keith to do a recap of everything while Ezor kept trying to place with Kosmo. Now Keith was in his room, bandaging his arm. He had left out that part because he didn't feel it was very necessary to mention. They got hurt all the time. It wasn't a huge deal. 

Kosmo had been quiet the whole time, and he seemed to have an attachment to Keith. Keith still hadn't started experimenting with his teleportation powers. The room was dim, but Kosmo glowed, and Keith had night vision, so it wasn't really a problem.

Kosmo had sniffed at the other bandage on his arm, looking at him with such intensity Keith wondered if he somehow knew. But then Kosmo had yawned and broken the moment. Now Keith was finishing up bandaging his arm and replacing his armor. 

It was still early morning since his trip with Red happened in the middle of the night. Keith sat in the corner of the bed, right between the walls. Kosmo curled up in his lap, and Keith idly petted his silky smooth mane. As he was petting Kosmo, his eyes began to droop. 

With a heavy sigh, Keith's eyes slipped closed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but writing the nightmare was hard my babyyyy
> 
> also: if this bothered you, im sorry. please reach out to me if you ever need someone to talk to, i know its hard


	5. Kosmo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kosmo being emotion support wolf pup ™  
> or  
> kosmo == best boi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keiths injury totally won't be relevant to todays chapter *sweats*

When Keith awoke, Kosmo was sitting on his lap licking his face, staring at him.

Keith opened his eyes, jolting up. Kosmo huffed and climbed off his lap, leaping onto the floor. Keith stood but felt a painful twinge in his upper arm on his left side. _His cuts_. They would be fine. Keith had made it through worse. 

Carefully stretching, he opened the door to his room. In the shared space, Lotor sat on the couch, idly playing with a small throwing star. The others seemed to all be in their rooms. Keith walked out, followed by Kosmo, and sat on the opposite side of the same couch. Kosmo jumped into his lap.

"How is your arm?" Lotor asked.

Keith looked up, flicking an ear as he stared at Lotor. "What?"

"The cut on your arm. From when you fell." Lotor said.

"They're fine." Lotor hadn't noticed his new one, apparently. 

"Where did the Lion take you?" He asked quietly.

Keith didn't look up this time, instead focusing on stroking Kosmo's mane. "The planet you found me on."

"And you found this pup?"

Keith nodded as Kosmo bit his finger. He was teething. 

"I don't think you are telling me the truth about the cut on your arm," Lotor said finally.

"What makes you say that?"

"It didn't look like a scrape, and it is incredibly improbably you fell on it side up. If you had, it would have gone to the bone, possibly past if it was truly luxite." Lotor was staring at Keith.

Keith still didn't look up. "It's fine."

"It has something to do with the Lions roaring, doesn't it?" Lotor pressed. 

Keith didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell Lotor. So he said nothing.

"Keith, answer me. How did you get that cut?" Lotor sounded annoyed.

"I fell," Keith replied. Lotor sighed.

"You are infuriating." He complained, running a hair through his hair. 

Keith remained silent.

∅

Keith and the others stand in front of the paladins in the training room. They were still doing the sparring together.

"We've decided to do something different," Lotor smirked. "We are going to have a stamina match for us. We are going to select two people to face yours in sparring matches of your choice." 

Allura nodded. "May the two people you select have the best chance against us."

She turned to her paladins as Lotor turned to his group. He was smiling still. "Keith, Ezor, I want you to kill them all." 

Keith smiled wickedly, and Ezor grabbed his hand, a smile to match his. 

Allura turned back to them. "We will have your two in a ladder-type match. You will compete against our paladins in teams of two, then a complete brawl with everyone at the end. If you can handle it, that is."

It was an open challenge.

Keith would not back down. "Worry about yourselves."

Allura's expression darkened as she nodded. "First it will be Hunk and Pidge, then Coran and Lance, and Shiro and I." 

"Weapons?" Ezor asked. 

"Staffs," Allura said, and the room produced staffs identical to the ones they had used to spar the other day. Adrenaline coursed through Keith in place of his blood and he lashed his tail in anticipation. He simply looked at Ezor, and he knew they had it covered. 

Pidge and Hunk stepped forward, determination on their faces. This would be laughably easy. 

Keith and Ezor stood side by side as the room beeped, signaling a start. Pidge charged forward, Hunk right behind her, both yelling mightily. Keith and Ezor were silent fighters. Keith blocked Pidge easily, turning to drive his knee into her side. The force behind it knocked her over easily. 

One perk Keith constantly overlooked about his Galra side with the increased speed and strength. 

Ezor jumped off of Keith's shoulders, flipping and placing a hand on Hunk's shoulders and using it to twist around, ramming her feet into his back. Hunk fell to the ground with a loud _oww_. Ezor landed with a huge grin on her face. Keith and her nonchalantly bumped fists behind their backs. 

Pidge and Hunk limped out as Lance and Coran stepped in. Keith had never seen Coran fight before. This would be fun. 

Coran shot forward with his staff, feinting left for Keith. Keith saw through it as perfectly as if someone had choreographed the moves, and ducked below Coran, sweeping out a leg. Coran just managed to catch himself on his staff, but with all of his weight on it, Keith kicked it out from under him. Coran fell. 

Ezor charged Lance, who blocked it and even managed to gather enough strength to throw her back. Keith surged over, swinging with his own staff. When Lance reached to block above his head, Keith changed trajectories and swiped his side, _hard_. Lance couched heavily, and his breathing seized up as a small trickle of blood fell from the corner of his mouth. As he was struggling to recover, Ezor appeared at his other side and kicked, throwing him down onto the floor. 

It was over.

Shiro and Allura stepped forward as Coran and Hunk rushed over to help Lance stand. Keith didn't feel the slightest bit bad, but there was the smallest of twinges in his arm. It would be fine to continue, though. Keith would bring down these paladins. 

Shiro looked so, impossibly sad, as he watched Keith and Ezor fall into a stance. Allura charged first with her own staff, straight for -surprise surprise- Keith. Keith blocked her and was surprised as she aimed to kick his ankle. A novice move against someone as fast and agile as Keith.

Keith stooped down easily and snatched her ankle, twisting it so that she fell onto her side painfully. She was out. Ezor was getting a good challenge against Shiro. She swung and he blocked with his forearm, swiping his staff one way. Ezor snatched it, and he landed a punch to her side. 

She grinned as Keith rushed over, ducking back down and sliding along the ground to aim for Shiro's ankles. Shiro just managed to jump out of the way, and Keith jumped to his feet. Ezor danced back as well, and they looked at each other briefly. 

Keith swung his staff towards Shiro's side, which he promptly blocked. Instead of punching, though, Keith cocked his arm back as if for a punch. The blow never came. Instead, Ezor burst forward and used his arm as a springboard. Keith felt the sharp pain this time but ignored it. He had only one more fight after this. 

Ezor laid a hand on Shiro's head, twisting to do what she had to Hunk. He managed to dodge enough to miss her, which meant she was heading straight towards Keith. Keith held out his staff vertically, putting all of his body weight into holding it steady. 

Ezor's feet hit it, and she used it as another springboard, heading straight for Shiro. Keith swung his staff in a wide arc, hitting the back of Shiro's knees powerfully. He stumbled slightly, and Ezor turned again so her feet hit Shiro's chest. He was flung back, hitting the floor hard. 

Ezor touched the ground silently, and Keith and her shared a silent grin. They had only one fight left.

Every other person they had fought stepped into the area, including Lance and Shiro. This would be fun. 

The room beeped, and Keith caught a quick glance of Lotor's proud smirk before Pidge filled that space. The smallest paladin swung with her staff and Keith just managed to jump above her swing, using her shoulders to jump off of. He turned and slammed his foot onto the back of her neck. She hit the floor loudly, and the room opened an exit for her to fall through. 

Ezor was fighting her own battles, and Lance came for Keith. 

Keith stepped inside of his swing, landing a violent punch to the side of his face. His armor probably made it more painful. Lance was flung to the side, losing his balance. Keith kicked his side, right before, and finished knocking him to the floor. 

Ezor had taken down Hunk and Coran already. Allura and Shiro were teaming up against her, and Keith rushed over. 

He swung with his staff for Shiro, who yelled in surprise and jumped back, away from Ezor. 

"Keith," Shiro said, pleadingly. 

Keith swung for his head, and let his staff glance off of Shiro's, shoving the edge of it into his side. The armor took the brunt of the hit, but it still knocked him slightly off balance. Keith felt all of his pent up rages start to escape. 

Quicker than he had moved since entering the castle, Keith swung out his foot and slammed it into Shiro's ankle, lashing his tail as he punched Shiro's cheek hand. He landed another punch in his center, so hard Shiro still doubled over slightly. Keith brought his knee up into Shiro's chin, not anywhere near as painfully as he could. Shiro still flew back as Keith jumped forward, finishing pushing over Shiro, and landing in the center of his chest. 

Shiro was bloodied and battered, Keith could tell. Yet, he couldn't find it in him to particularly care. He jumped off as Shiro disappeared.

Ezor yelped, and Keith turned to see her disappear. 

_What?_

He looked at Allura, who's hair was everywhere and had a crazed look in her eyes. There was a gleam of silver.

_Allura had turned her staff into a sword_. 

Keith was in trouble. What the quiznak was wrong with her? 

Allura lunged with a scream, swinging the blade towards Keith. He brought up his staff to block and watched in horror as the sword sliced through the staff. He managed to dart out of the way. As she swung again, he was completely weaponless. What was he supposed to be doing? 

He ducked out of the way, unsheathing his claws and trying to figure out a strategy.

"I won't lose to the Galra!" Allura screamed, jumping forward. 

Keith threw himself out of the way, but the blade was too long. The place where Keith's pieces of armor ended was small, and right where his cuts were. The sword cut into his upper arm deeply like a knife through butter. Blood sprayed and his other cuts reopened. 

Keith jumped back, panting hard. Why had left his knife outside of the room with Lotor? Why did he even try? 

Keith had to win this fight. There wasn't really another option. He would do it without anybody else's help. 

Keith took a deep breath and dipped into the reserves of his strength and speed. He moved quicker than Allura could blink, jumping forward and kneeing her sharply in her gut. Allura managed to punch his face before he jumped back, her fist painfully cracking against his jaw. His upper arm was on fire. 

Keith let his rage and instincts guide him. It was Allura's fault all of this happened. 

_Her fault_.

Keith didn't hold back this time. 

He jumped forward, impossibly faster than the last time, grabbing her wrist and breaking it with ease. She yelled as the sword fell and tried to punch again. Keith caught her fist and turned it, breaking the bones in that arm. She screamed this time, and Keith was much less gentle than he was with Shiro.

He used her arm to turn her around and shoved her down. Straight onto his knee, which he brought up with considerably more force than before. She coughed blood as her back arched in a way it never should. Keith locked eyes with her as her head snapped back before stepping back and grabbing her throat with bruising force, throwing her down onto the unforgiving floor. He remembered how Ezor yelped. She never made a noise unless she in real pain. 

He made sure to dig in his claws as he released her throat, leaving scratches that started to leak red. For a final touch, Keith placed his foot on her face and shoved her down onto the floor as it opened to swallow her up. 

His arm was on fire, but she would be lucky to get out of the healing pods any time soon. 

Keith stood in the center of the room, blood dripping down from his arm and jaw stinging, staring at the spot where Allura disappeared. 

He lashed his tail quickly, flicking one ear as he turned to walk over to the exit. He was still mad, still trying to reign himself in after the fight. He walked into the room nearby, where the losers were dropped. Ezor stood at the edge. She was clutched her arm tightly, and there were a few blood splatters on the floor below it. It just made him angrier, which he didn't need. 

Taking a deep breath, he walked over to her. Ezor saw her and gave him a look that told him she approvedly wholeheartedly with his knockdown of Allura.

Speaking of the princess, her paladins have crowded around as she lay bleeding on the floor.

Pidge heard him and whirled around. "Why would you do that?!" 

Keith's gaze cooled as he flicked his ears back. 

Lance was next to yell. "You seriously hurt her!"

"It wouldn't have happened if your precious princess didn't cheat. Ezor would have defeated her without issue, and she wouldn't have escaped any more scraped than you or Shiro." Keith said coolly.

Even Shiro looked furious. "What was that, Keith? You could have killed her. She's already seriously injured."

"Take her to healing pods, then," Keith said, tipping his head back in challenge. "I would do it a thousand times over."

"Why?!" 

"Because she deserved it." Keith hissed. 

"How?!" Hunk yelled this time. Coran looked torn between standing at her side and yelling at Keith. 

Keith was about to throw him down. "She kicked me out of the castle, she cheated, she _hurt Ezor_ ," 

"Oh, so you're so mad for your friend?! But not the leader of the Voltron Alliance?!" Pidge retorted. 

"You left the castle!" Lance said, getting in Keith's face. Even the others could recognize not to get close to him. Lance never was the brightest.

"You all openly called me your enemy. I was unwanted. And yes, I am furious for Ezor and Allura." Keith replied, and Ezor shook her head and started walking out. Keith began to follow her. 

"How could you be mad for this Ezor? And not Allura? She doesn't mean anything! She's just a Galra? How are you so attached?!" Lance yelled, and he severely overstepped. Pidge gasped and took a step back. The others could see it, but not Lance.

Lance grabbed Keith's shoulder. 

Keith's hand snapped back, and he flipped Lance over his shoulder with ease. Lance landed, his breathing seizing again. Lance scrambled up, and Keith grabbed him by the throat, pinning him against the wall. Blood ran from his claws. 

"I care about Ezor because she didn't leave me," Keith said quietly, before tossing Lance to the ground again. He walked out, fury raging in his blood. Kosmo appeared, jumping into Keith's arms. The two were gone in a quick flash. 

They reappeared in Keith's room, and Kosmo settled onto Keith's bed.

"How could they even ask that?!" Keith yelled, making sure to soundproof the room with the keypad on the door. "How could they ask how I'm so attached to Ezor when she stayed around?! They called me the enemy, were afraid to be around me, couldn't look me in the eye! I left, and they have the _audacity_ to try and tell me it was my fault?! I left!"

"Lotor found me dying on a planet! They couldn't be bothered to find me! Allura said they tried, and that was because they wanted someone to pilot Red! What the quiznak?! Why do I even bother?! And that thing Allura pulled in the training deck?! What is wrong with her? Why would she do that?! She won't lose to a Galra? I just want to kill her sometimes!" he paused for a second, then looked at Kosmo. "I almost did. I was so close. I almost choked it, I almost ripped her throat out, broke her spine, neck, it was so close.

"It was in reach. And it was wonderful. It was... _powerful_ ," Keith whispered. 

Keith moved in a daze. He changed out of his armor, into shorts and a t-shirt, addressed the wounds on his arm, rewrapping them, and then crawled into the corner of his bed. Kosmo curled up on his lap, and Keith petted his mane. 

There was a drop of water on his pristine fur. Then another.

Keith realized he was crying. Why was he crying? 

Ezor was hurt. Because of Allura. The others still hated him and blamed him for leaving them. 

The truth rang with a cutting finality. 

They blamed him for being Galra. 

Keith hugged Kosmo tightly as he began to cry into his mane. 

∅

Lotor didn't quite know what to do.

He watched the princess turn the staff into a sword. He watched her slide off half of the staff. He watched her strike Ezor. 

And he watched Keith make her pay. 

Lotor can't get it out of his mind. How Keith moved. So swift, agile, precise...

and lethal.

Keith could have killed her multiple times. He probably wanted to. It was most likely sheer luck Allura was still alive, even as battered as she was. Keith challenged the Blue paladin without hesitation. He was pushed too far. They should have never tried to even look at Keith when he saw Ezor injured. Keith had remarkable control to keep his cool for so long, and without severely damaging the paladin. Kosmo and he disappeared in a flash, which was curious, but Lotor pushed it aside for later.

Lotor tended to Ezor as they walked, and Allura had cut deep. He wanted to hurt her himself. How dare the princess touch Ezor? Instead, he held it together and bandaged her arm back in the shared room. He ordered everyone back to their rooms and sat on the couch for a minute. He was still taking a minute to process it all himself. How had Keith not killed her? 

Lotor should check on Keith. 

First, he went into his room and changed out of his armor. 

Then, he walked over and opened the door to his room, and was shocked to see Keith curled up in the corner of his bed, sobbing into his pup's fur. He didn't even seem to notice Lotor walk in. Should he walk out?

Lotor walked over to Keith and did what he remembered his mother doing for him once.

He didn't say anything. He just crawled onto the bed, sat next to Keith, and held him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah maybe not so slowburn 
> 
> and i hate writing allura but i need her character to make the story better


	6. Cool Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> takin a breather from the intenseness of the previous few chapters  
> or  
> keitor development timeeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kosmo is heckin awesome, just sayin
> 
> also: i started another keitor fic that is not slowburn called the lost paladin, if yall wanted to check it out  
> ps. even with being stupid and starting another fic my update schedule will stay to at least one chapter a week

Keith was sobbing into Kosmo's fur for who knows how long when he felt strong arms wrap around him, pulling him closer. Keith cried even harder, leaning into the warmth. He figured it was Ezor since she always seemed to be around when he was hurting. 

Keith cried until his tears dried, and he eventually drifted off to sleep. Kosmo, the angel he was, continued to stay with him, though he adjusted to lay on his lap more comfortably. With Ezor's warmth seeping into his side, Keith didn't have any nightmares.

In his sleep, Red touched his mind and purred reassuringly. Black was there too. They seemed to comfort him. Keith shivered when he felt Sincline enter, but she didn't seem to want to fight. They gave off layers of warmth as well, and they made his brittle mental state feel a little stronger. As he slept, another, brand new presence arrived. It was warmer than the others somehow, friendlier, with an undying sense of loyalty. It answered to him. 

_Kosmo_.

Keith had never loved anything so much in his life. He felt like he would burst with pure love for the wolf pup. 

Comforted by the presences, Keith let his mind drift aimlessly, resting for just a minute. 

∅

Keith woke slowly. No matter the circumstances or what he did, he simply couldn't wake up any later than this time. Red and Black withdrew from his mind with a small purr when they felt him regain consciousness, and Sincline stayed for only a minute longer. Kosmo did not waver. 

Keith had fallen asleep sitting up, leaning against a source of incredible warmth. He subconsciously moved closer. Arms were wrapped around him, and Kosmo slumbered peacefully in his lap. Keith didn't make any move to get up or get dressed. He wasn't going to fall back asleep, but he didn't want to move either. His eyes were half-lidded, but he wasn't sleepy. 

After a little bit, Keith figured he should send Ezor back to her room before the others wake to preserve both of their reputations -not that they had much with what they treated as their family. Slowly, he raised a hand to tap Ezor's arm, when he realized that the arm in front of him wasn't Ezor's. 

Keith froze. 

The one holding him... was Lotor. 

Panic simmered in Keith's mind before it totally blanked. 

_Okay,_ he thought to himself. _I just need to wake Lotor and get him the heck out of my room. Simple, right?_

Kosmo stretched beneath him, seeming to sense his emotional turmoil. Keith stared in the pup's yellow eyes, and it seemed to bridge a gap. Kosmo slowly rose and shook out his fur. He walked over to Lotor and stood on his lap. Lotor moved slightly but didn't wake. He smelled like the fresh air from Keith's planet. _How?_

Kosmo placed his paws on Lotor's chest and started licking his face. Lotor inhaled slightly, and Keith felt him start to wake. Keith quickly pretended to sleep. Hopefully, Lotor didn't know about his constant waking time. Keith relaxed his expression and closed his eyes, making sure to even out his breathing. 

He could tell Lotor was awake. He didn't make a sound for a minute and then started to move. Warm arms unwrapped around Keith, and his presence began to draw away. Keith flicked an ear before he could stop it, but Lotor didn't seem to notice. 

He heard the sound of his door opening and the footsteps of someone walking out. Keith opened his eyes and let himself fall sideways on the bed. Kosmo curled up next to him, settling down against Keith's arm with a heavy sigh. Keith smiled, pulling the wolf pup closer. He supposed he owed Kosmo more sleep for doing that for him. 

Keith laid there for at least another two hours, and he actually felt himself slipping back into sleep. It was peaceful; the steady rise and fall of Kosmo's side, the sound of his breathing, it was rhythmic and reliable. He soon slept. 

∅

Something was poking his arm. 

Keith decided to ignore it. 

Something was poking his leg.

Keith decided to ignore it. 

When it gently pulled his tail, he blearily opened one eye. Ezor sat there, a slight smirk on her face. 

"Wake up, sleeping beauty." She said a phrase she picked up from Keith.

Keith just stared at her before closing his eye again. He was going to keep sleeping. 

"Kosmo is having a bad effect on you." She sighed.

The wolf in question yawned widely, making a little whine as he did before leaning back so his back was against Keith's chest, his little legs stretched out in front of him. He heaved another impossibly heaving sigh for a pup so young and continued to sleep. 

Ezor groaned in annoyance. "Get up you two. You feed off of each other's laziness." 

Keith decided to ignore her. 

"You will get up or I will take a picture and show it to the paladins." she threatened. Keith didn't react. "Fine! I'll just send Lotor or Zethrid in here! No, I'll send Narti and Kova, who will just stare at you uncomfortably and occasionally morse code communicate. Or Acxa, who likes to watch you as well."

Keith groaned. "Why do I have to get up?"

"Cause I had to," Ezor said flatly.

"Then sleep a little more here," Keith offered. He was oddly smushed into the corner, his back against one wall with his legs against the other. Ezor sighed, but Keith felt the bed dip as she laid down. Soon enough, her breathing evened out and Keith fell back asleep. 

∅

"I told you we shouldn't have sent Ezor. She's weak." Someone said, and someone poked Keith's cheek. Keith pinned an ear back but ignored it. He was still impossibly tired. 

"Lotor, Narti, and Zethrid left to grab coffee. They told me you had to be awake by the time you got back." Acxa said sternly. 

Keith flicked his ear but whined as Kosmo's weight against his side vanished. 

"Get up and then you can have your pup back," Acxa announced. 

Keith opened his eyes and unceremoniously rolled off the bed and stood, blearily staring at Acxa. Acxa smiled and held Kosmo out to him. Keith took his pup, grumbling, and then walked over and grabbed Ezor's foot, pulling her off the bed and onto the floor.

Ezor yelped as she fell, sitting up immediately. Keith snatched her arm and forced her to stand and walk out of the room, going into the shared room and sitting on the couch. The others didn't appear to be back yet. Kosmo yawned in Keith's lap. 

"Why am I awake?" Ezor grumbled. 

"Cause I am," Keith replied, before leaning back into the couch cushions and petting Kosmo's fur. Ezor groaned dramatically, then turned to rest her head on the arm, stretching her feet to put on Keith's head. The smaller Galra didn't even have it in him to push her off. 

They sat there for a while, both staring at nothing in particular. 

Finally, the door opened and Lotor, Narti, and Zethrid walked inside. Keith and Ezor didn't even glance up. 

"Are you two alright?" Lotor asked as he set down a few cups on the table. 

"I would like to go back to sleep," Ezor said. 

"Have some coffee," Zethrid said and handed each of them a cup. Keith took it silently and sipped at it. Slowly, he began to feel more awake. It wasn't so hard to open his eyes anymore, which was good. But he still didn't feel like doing anything. 

"We need to report with the paladins. The drone followed us around and then spoke." Lotor said.

Keith nodded, finishing the coffee and setting down the cup, standing up. Ezor did as well. They both went to their respective rooms and pulled on their armor blankly, walking back out robotically. Acxa and the others exchanged a worried look before they all walked out of the room. 

Keith stared at the floor as they walked, slightly behind the others. When they started to approach the main room, he lifted his chin and relaxed his ears, stilling his tail and walking forward next to Ezor. 

"Is your arm alright?" He asked quietly.

Ezor nodded. "A little sore."

Then they walked into the control room. Shiro stood in the center, flanked by the paladins and Coran. Over in a corner, the princess was in a healing pod. Keith felt no remorse when he looked at her, still battered. 

"How are you all?" Lotor asked.

Shiro lacked the skills of Allura. "We had a discussion on the events of yesterday, and we have agreed that there will now be a permanent drone stationed to you all."

"Why?" Lotor asked.

"Because your _general_ severely hurt Allura." Lance snapped.

Keith didn't react at all. 

"Your _princess_ also hurt my general and cheated in battle. That is a serious offense." Lotor said flatly.

"Maybe to Galra," Pidge muttered, almost earning a reaction out of Keith.

"Listen, we know what Allura did was really wrong," Hunk said. "And we have no idea why she would do that."

"Because she hates Galra and thinks she can win." Keith finally said.

They turned to him and stares coldened. 

"Her own prejudice makes her reckless and stupid in battle. Emotion guides her down the wrong path and warps her thinking. If she could get over herself, then she would see there wasn't a problem. Yes, Ezor and I would have won, but it would have been an honorable loss." Keith said, making sure to keep emotion out of it.

"Oh, yes. Sorry, I forgot you were the expert on self-control and clear thinking." Lance retorted.

Keith didn't rise to the bait. "Allura should have hopefully learned something from this."

"The only thing we learned was that you are a killer." Lance hissed.

Keith sighed. "Just feel lucky I spared her."

Lance looked like he was about to say something else, but Shiro gave him a stare that made him halt. Kosmo appeared in a flash, sitting on Keith's foot. Keith looked down for a second, and his pup looked back at him. Keith stuck his tongue out slightly, and Kosmo stuck his out too. Then they both looked up and took back serious expressions. 

"Listen, we just need a while to cool down. We will not allow a drone in our quarters with us." Lotor said placidly.

"Allow? You in no position to make demands." Shiro said.

"My companions and I do not feel safe with constant, prying eyes," Lotor said.

"Fine!" Pidge said angrily. Keith had a feeling she would just hide it in an air vent or something but left it alone. 

"We can talk when Allura is feeling better," Lotor said, and they turned and walked out. Kosmo zapped himself into Keith's arms. Keith stared at the pup as they walked. He turned and licked Keith's nose. Keith broke into a smile and placed a kiss on the pup's forehead before catching up with the group.

∅

"This is not how I expected my day to go," Hunk muttered as he sat with his companions at the table. It had been a few vargas, and Pidge had decided to hide a camera in the air vents. Right now she had it on and had the image pulled up. 

It was certainly not what they all had expected.

They were all lounging on the couches, and Ezor was sitting on Zethrid's lap giggling about something, while Lotor seemed to be talking to Narti and Acxa. Keith was sitting on the edge of a couch... playing with Kosmo. The stoic half-blood was quite literally _playing_ with the pup. And the others didn't even care. 

He was touching Kosmo's nose and playing his paws, grinning and looking happy. Hunk certainly didn't expect that. He had thought Keith just sat around looking serious, at this point. Hunk felt vaguely creepy as Ezor jumped off of Zethrid's lap and plopped herself next to Keith. 

"Kee! What are you doing?" She asked energetically.

"Playing with Kosmo. He's lonely and drooly." Keith responded, laughing, _laughing?!_ , as Kosmo licked his nose. 

"We should do that Earth tradition you mentioned!" She said, eyes shining.

He eyed her warily. "You don't mean..."

Ezor jumped up. "Sleepover!" 

"Excuse me?" Lance actually asked, and the others just blinked in shock. 

"Right now, Ezor?" Lotor asked. 

Ezor sighed. "No. Right after we change out of that stiff armor!" 

She bounced to her room and shut the door, and Keith was the next one to move. He picked up and Kosmo and walked to his, the door shutting behind him. Eventually, the others moved, and when they walked back out, they were all dressed in... shorts and a t-shirt? 

Keith sat on the couch, flipping Kosmo on his back in his arms and tickling his belly with laughter. The others joined, and Ezor clapped her hands.

"Excellent! Now, Keith, what do you do in a sleepover?" She turned to him.

Keith blinked a couple of times before shrugging. "I don't really know. I lived in the desert alone in a shack for most of my life. I didn't really like... _people_. I think you just talk and play games."

Ezor nodded. "We can do that! Okay, we could spar? Actually, no, me and Keith always beat you guys." 

The paladins looked vaguely surprised. 

"Ok, how about we play find?" 

"Find?" Keith echoed. 

She nodded. "Everybody hides, and one person has to find them. I'll be the finder!" 

Keith didn't mention that was similar to the Earth game and instead waited for Ezor to close her eyes and start humming a Galra lullaby to herself. Hunk watched as the others sighed but crept away, and Keith just... disappeared. They reappeared in the air vent opposite of the one the camera was hiding in, Kosmo next to him. 

_They would probably notice the camera_.

"Pidge, this is wrong. We shouldn't be spying on them like this." Hunk said.

"They hurt Allura!" 

"She hurt them. Come on, this is wrong." Hunk said, but she shook her head stubbornly. He wouldn't win this. 

They watched as Ezor started searching. She found all of the others quickly but was having a harder time finding Keith. She searched around, and eventually spotted the air vent he was hiding in. Slowly, she crept up and then snatched off the cover, jumping up and yelling 'found you!'.

Keith and Kosmo disappeared and reappeared on the floor, and Keith was genuinely _laughing_. Hunk watched in complete disbelief as she started poking him, and he started _giggling_. He looked so... happy. And happy in a way he never was with the paladins.

Hunk had seen enough.

He stood and grabbed the controller for the drone away from Pidge setting a course for it to return and grabbing the display.

"Hunk! What are you doing?!" She yelled. The others looked annoyed.

Hunk wouldn't bow. "This is wrong, you all. Keith may have hurt Allura, but he also could have killed her! She hurt Ezor, and we can see how obviously important she is to him! Can you really blame him for getting mad? We all would have. And come on guys! You just saw him! He looked so happy! Could any of you ever recall a time he was that happy with any of us?"

Silence greeted him, and Hunk knew he was right. 

"He enjoys being with them. They are his family. They accept him. And we are wrong to try and spy on that and disrupt it. Enough is enough." Hunk said and grabbed the drone as he returned, flicking the off switch. 

"Don't ruin this for him." Hunk finished, and turned and walked out. 

∅

Keith was having a good time. 

Ezor had convinced them all to do this 'sleepover' Earth tradition, and it was actually pretty fun. 

Now they were all sitting on the couches, grinning and leaning in. Kova sat on Narti's lap, purring as Narti stroked her fur. 

Ezor was giddy. "Alright, now we are going to play a secret game. We have to go around and share something we like about a person randomly selected." 

Keith raised an eyebrow but didn't comment as Ezor chose Narti first. 

"Narti, what do you like about... Acxa?" Ezor asked.

Kova flicked an ear as Narti began to tap out her response in Morse Code. 

_I like her tolerance for_ _everyone._

Ezor nodded. "Excellent! Now, Acxa, what do you like about... Lotor?" 

Acxa thought for a moment. "I like his eyes. They're pretty."

Lotor almost looked to flush before running a hand through his hair.

"Adorable! Lotor, what do you like about... Keith?"

Lotor took a minute. "I like his ears. They're cute." 

Keith flicked one in surprise, making Ezor laugh. "That is very sweet. Keith, what do you like about... _me_?" 

Keith smirked at Ezor. "I love your obliviousness."

Ezor hung her mouth open exaggeratedly. "Wait, what?" 

Keith laughed as another grin took over her face. "Okay, Ezor, what do you like about Zethrid?"

Ezor flushed gently before tipping her head to the side and tapping a finger to her chin. "I like her hugs."

Keith nodded. "That's a good response. Zethrid, what do you like about Narti?"

"I like her silence. She really thinks things over." Zethrid said.

Ezor clapped her hands. "The next part of this game is to go around and each person assigns everyone a word describing them. I'll start. Keith is adorable, Narti is considerate, Zethrid is protective, Lotor is kind, Acxa is prepared, and Kosmo is a dork." 

Kosmo turned and placed his head on her lap, making her smile. Ezor motioned for Keith to go next.

Keith thought for a moment. "Ezor is amazing, Narti is smart, Zethrid is strong, Lotor is cute, Acxa is cool, and Kosmo is my baby." 

Keith ended it with picking up Kosmo and tipping him on his back in his arms. Lotor looked flushed as the others took their turns going. Keith played with Kosmo's paws, listening with one ear. He was really interested in what Lotor would say about him. 

Before Lotor could open his mouth, the ship shook and knocked Keith over. 

Coran's voice filled the room. "We are under attack by a Galra cruiser!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this a....  
> c l i f f h a n g a r ?


	7. Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the castle of lions comes under attack by some random cruiser. keith and the others basically go out and save them  
> or  
> keith's got this yo

Keith burst into action first, running to his room and pulling on his armor faster than he ever had before. 

The others followed suit. They gathered back in the common room, and Keith took off down the hall, guiding them to the control center with Kosmo fast on his heels. They arrived quickly. 

"What is going on?" Lotor asked, looking composed as ever.

Coran looked more panicked than ever. "A Galra cruiser has started attacking! I activated the particle barrier, but it won't hold out forever. Allura isn't able to pilot the Blue Lion, the Red, and Black only respond to you, so only Pidge and Hunk in the Green and Yellow Lions are out there!" 

Lotor turned to Keith. "Pilot one of the Lions."

Keith blinked in surprise. "Me?" 

Coran nodded quick enough to snap his own neck. "Yes! Go! Pick one!" 

Keith felt bewildered, but Kosmo teleported them to the hangar. Keith stood in front of the Lions, unsure of which to pick. Great! Now, as he stood there, he felt Blue's presence in his mind. What in Sa's name was happening? 

"Pick your pilots again!" Keith said, unsure of what to do. 

He ended up heading for the Lion with the loudest presence in his mind. The Black Lion turned on with ease, letting out a roar. Kosmo sat beside Keith's seat. Keith pulled on his helmet and connected to the paladin channel. 

"Pidge, Hunk!" Coran's voice sounded smoothly. "I'm sending Keith out to join you!"

"What?" Pidge asked.

"He's welcome at this point! I'm under heavy fire!" Hunk yelled.

"What Lion is he piloting?" Pidge asked.

"I have no idea!" Coran answered back shrilly. 

Keith pushed forward and flew the Lion out of the hangar with ease. 

"The Black one, I suppose!" Coran reported. 

Hunk yelled as he was shot at again, but there wasn't a verbal response. Keith quickly spotted the cruiser. Taking a deep breath and stilling for a moment, Keith tugged at Black's presence in his mind. Black responded in kind, purring. 

Then Keith shot forward, flying faster than ever towards the cruiser. Small fighters spotted him and started firing. Keith twisted and turned, moving around them without difficulty. Black didn't take any hits. Keith turned and ducked another blast, firing up his own. Shooting out a laser in a rhythmless line, he hit all of the fighters. He turned and just managed to duck out of the way of the ion cannon on the cruiser. That needed to go. 

But first, Pidge and Hunk.

Keith located them on the map and flew towards Hunk, who seemed to be taking the heaviest fire. Hundreds of fighters surrounded Yellow, who was struggling to dodge them all in a timely manner. Keith watched for a second, analyzing the situation with lightning precision. Then, he charged up a blast and hit the farthest fighters. They exploded, alerting them all to the Black Lion's presence. 

Yellow froze and turned its gaze to Keith, who ducked out of the way of more shots. 

"Hunk, keep blasting the ones closest to you. I'll work on the farthest ones." Keith said, catching the closest one in Black's jaws and crushing it before tossing it into a couple more. Hunk finally moved, and Keith heard him activate his bayard. A giant gun formed on Yellow's back, firing at the closest ones. Keith aimed another blast and caught more fighters, before turning just as Yellow finished off the rest of them. 

"Hunk, you go help Pidge using the strategy we just did. You take the closest ones, she can take the farther fighters. I'm going to try destroying the ion cannon." Keith ordered without thinking, and Hunk didn't contradict at all. 

Keith flew to the ion cannon, dodging another heavy blast. It hit the castle behind him. Keith didn't have his bayard, so he couldn't use anything like that. And just as he thought that, the Red Lion's bayard appeared in his hand. God, these Lions were confusing.

Keith ignored and activated it, forming a jaw blade. Ducking around another swarm of fighters, Keith scraped the side with the blade. It exploded, but it wasn't enough to destroy it. Just as Keith prepared for another blast, Black shook as a fighter hit her. 

Keith turned and ducked under another shot, deactivating the jaw blade to charge up another blast, taking out most of the fighters around him. He dodged another blast as he turned, flying the Lion forward to loop around the ship. As expected, the fighters followed him. Black was faster, and when he returned, he charged up a blast and fired into the barrel of the cannon. It exploded, but still wasn't quite done.

"Keith, we're here." Hunk said, making Keith flick an ear in his helmet. 

"Hunk, there isn't much left to the ion cannon. Finish it off. Pidge, come with me. I'm going to swipe the jaw blade along the side. Follow the line and blast it. The plants will do more damage."

"Yes." Pidge said, and Keith activated his jaw blade once more. Flying forward in another burst, he dragged it along the edge of the ship, ignoring the awful sound it made when it connected with the metal. Pidge blasted the Lion right after it exploded, letting the roots make their way into the ship. There was another explosion, and Yellow appeared. 

"Hunk, Pidge, we're going to attack the bridge briefly. Pidge, take care of the closest fighters. Hunk, blast the bridge twice. I'm going to do another two times."

They gave an affirmative yes, and Yellow charged up a blast, drawing a vertical line. It exploded as Yellow charged up another. Black charged up her own, flying around and carving in a horizontal line in the center. It exploded, and Keith drew a vertical like Hunk's. Yellow's other blast exploded just as Green finished with the closest fighters. 

"Fly up to the engines. Blast them right after I swipe with the jaw blade, both of you at the same time." Keith said, forming the jaw blade. He flew up, followed closely by Pidge and Hunk. He dragged it along the engines, turning and aiming a blast from his tail at the next batch of fighters as Yellow and Green blasted it. There was a heavy explosion that seemed to rock the ship.

"Now the other side!" Keith yelled, spinning in the air to turn and swipe again. As Yellow and Green blasted, Keith deactivated the jaw blade and dragged another of his blasts along the top of the ship. It exploded. The cruiser was failing; starting to lose altitude. 

Keith watched as they just managed to open a wormhole and limp the ship through. It was over. 

Keith sighed. "Good work, you two."

They cheered a little, right as he remembered his current relationship with them. They flew their Lions back to the hangar, landing them and stepping out. 

Pidge's eyes were shining. "Keith, that was amazing! After you arrived, Yellow and Green barely got hit! How were you able to come up with that plan so quickly?"

Hunk nodded. "Yeah! You were so calm the whole time! And taking the fighters has never been easier! And Pidge is right! How were you able to avoid so much damage? Normally the power cores are depleted after fighting an entire cruiser! But now, they're not touched that badly! That was awesome!" 

Keith let himself smile. They were so eager; no hate, no mocking, no prejudice in their tones. Just amazement. It made Keith happy to hear it. 

He shrugged. "I just kinda said what came to mind. There wasn't very much to it." 

"You just made that up on the fly?" Hunk's jaw dropped. "There's no way. That's stupid amazing! Man, with you as the pilot of the Black Lion, who knows how well the battles would go all the time?"

Then they realized it, and the mood dropped. Keith pulled off his helmet and shook his head slightly, flicking his tail. Being in battle had felt... _good_. Like, surprisingly so. Still, some part of Keith wished that Lotor had been giving the orders, that he was the one complying and giving compliments. 

Keith shook off the feeling and turned to Kosmo, sitting at his feet. He picked him up, holding him in his arms as he turned and began to walk out of the hangar, towards where Lotor and the others most likely still were. He needed to stay focus. Nothing could distract him. 

Pidge and Hunk didn't follow until they were out of earshot, and Keith could barely make out their footsteps behind him. He focused on poking Kosmo's nose. He made it to the control room, where Lotor and the other generals were gathered off to the side, talking quietly. 

Ezor noticed him first, grinning and rushing over.

"Keith, we saw the fight and heard through the communication channel. That was _amazing_." She said.

Keith smiled slightly, setting Kosmo on the floor beside him. The pup looked as if he'd grown. 

"That was a good strategy. You make an excellent pilot." Lotor praised.

Keith flicked an ear, blinking in surprise before offering a warm smile. 

"Keith," Shiro said stiltedly from behind him. "That was a good battle." 

Keith turned to Shiro, cooling his expression and giving a nod of acknowledgment. He felt uncomfortable around him. Lance looked less likely to praise him, and Coran was tapping at a screen. Pidge and Hunk walked into the room, exchanging a few words with Shiro and Lance. 

Keith sighed and ran a hand through his hair, turning back to Ezor. "Is it almost time to sleep?"

Ezor made a face. "I feel like there should be more to do."

Keith shrugged. "I told you I grew up distanced from others. I didn't care enough to do this kind of stuff when I was younger."

Ezor sighed exaggeratedly, leaning against Keith's side. "You were such an odd child."

Keith swatted her off playfully, picking up Kosmo again and turning to walk out of the room. Before he could, there was the sound of something unsealing, and a cry of surprise. 

Keith turned and spotted the darling princess slumped against Lance, looking healed. She squinted, pressing a hand to her forehead. Keith felt uneasy around her, unsure of how she would react.

After a few minutes of getting her bearings, she stood and swung her gaze around the room. It landed on Keith, who remained as still as a statue for her reaction.

He expected hate, or a heavy grudge, or even pure, unadulterated loathing. Instead, in her gaze was... _grudging respect?_

Before Keith could question what he was seeing, a feeling covered his mind.

It was cold and warm at the same time. The Blue Lion.

Keith felt briefly annoyed. He didn't want anything to do with Voltron, and now three lions suddenly answered to him?

Before he could question it much more, Kosmo's presence pushed out Blue, covering him protectively like a shield. Surprisingly, the Blue Lion didn't resist. It only purred into his mind, sending him images.

There was one of Allura bowing, of her fighting, and of her piloting the Blue Lion.

Unknown to Keith, while the Blue Lion showed him the images, his glowing yellow eyes were now blue. Ezor turned to him as if she noticed something was odd, and visibly reeled back from him with a look of shock on her face. 

Keith blinked, and they were back to yellow.

He understood.

Keith turned to Allura, steeling himself. Hopefully, this newfound feeling of respect for him would make her listen. He had to try.

"Allura," he said, and the princess turned to him warily. "the Blue Lion hasn't been responding to Lance, right?"

She nodded suspiciously.

"It chose you as the pilot." He said, his gaze locked on hers alone.

The rest of the room fell away, leaving only him and Allura standing there, facing each other. Allura was trying to find any deceit or lies, but couldn't. Keith was trying to test if she would really listen. The world stood still for a second.

Then she seemed satisfied. "We should go to the hangar, then."

"Allura?!" Lance yelped. "You're _trusting_ him?"

Allura nodded and walked forward confidently, making her way down the hall to the hangar. Keith followed her closely, ignoring whatever the others thought. This moment was between them. It concerned nobody else. 

They reached the hangar quickly, and Allura walked up to the Blue Lion. She simply stood there, closing her eyes.

A second passed before the Lion's eyes lit up and it reached down while opening its mouth. 

Allura stepped inside confidently, and Keith knew what would happen. She was the pilot. 

The Blue Lion had chosen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wonder what this meanssss


	8. Interlude I: Assurance

Haggar had a plan. 

She knew all about her son's half breed generals. And she would bring about their end. 

The one she was particularly interested in was the latest one. The one mixed with some species on the planet Earth. She had already sent Sendak orders to conquer the pathetic planet and gather resources from it. 

She would bring about her empire once more. 

But she wanted this small kit to do it with. 

And she knew how to start. Narti had Kova. Haggar would use Kova. She would strike deep. 

Haggar took a deep breath, centering herself. Then, she extended her hands in front of her, palms up. She let herself slip into her own mind, searching through the different strands until she found the one she was looking for. She latched onto it, mentally pulling it closer to her.

When she had a firm grip, she gathered up all of her power. And she plunged herself into Kova's mind. 

_"Keith, what are you doing?" Ezor asked with a stifled giggle._

_Keith was holding Kosmo over his head with a stoic expression on his face. "I am showing Kosmo what it's like to be tall."_

_Ezor dissolved into giggles as the pup wagged his tail and Keith lowered him with a small grin. He cradled him in his arms, touching his nose. Unnoticed by him, Lotor was staring at him with a slight flush on his cheeks._

_"You're adorable, Keith." Ezor teased as Keith dramatically fell backwards onto the couch, swinging his legs over to rest on Ezor's lap._

_"Why, thank you," Keith smirked, messing around with his pup._

_Lotor turned to Narti. "What are you thinking about?"_

_Narti tapped something out on the floor, making Lotor nod with a small smile._

_"Keith, you should change out of your armour. It's uncomfortable." Ezor said, pushing his feet off of her. The two of them stood and walked to their respective rooms, disappearing behind the doors._

_Acxa stood and snatched Lotor's hand, dragging him up and into another room. Kova silently followed and slipped inside just as the door shut, hiding in the corner in shadows._

_"Alright prince, spill," Acxa commanded._

_Lotor looked incredibly confused. "Excuse me?"_

_Acxa sighed. "I saw you watching Keith."_

_Lotor looked away. "Yes, he is an important member of our team."_

_Acxa raised an eyebrow. "Really?"_

_Lotor nodded firmly. "Yes. I was wondering what he was doing."_

_"And you weren't watching him because he was being cute?"_

_"Cute?" Lotor tried to say incredulously, but it was ruined by the slight blush._

_Acxa sighed and shook her head disapprovingly. "Lotor, it is obvious you weren't just watching him because he is an 'important member of our team', as you so delicately put it. But, since you are in denial, I'm going to let it slide. For now."_

_She opened the door and walked out, followed closely by Lotor and -unknown to them- Kova._

_The feline settled herself on Narti's shoulder, observing with sharp pupils._

_Keith and Ezor had reappeared, dressed in odd clothing that left skin bare and looked flimsy. Ezor was sitting on the couch, talking to Keith. As they did, Keith sat and used the arm of it as a headrest, his legs on Ezor's lap again._

_Ezor poked him playfully as Kosmo slid into the space between Keith's legs and the back of the couch, settling with a heavy sigh and resting his head on his owner's lap._

_The two burst out laughing._

_Lotor pointedly avoided looking at them, instead striking up a conversation with Narti._

_"Do you think the princess will be willing to help us discover Oriande?" Lotor asked softly._

_Narti tapped on the floor with her foot, seeming to slowly form words out of a strange form of code._

Haggar withdrew, for now, already having the information she needed. 

She lowered her hands, walking over to her dashboard. Her son wanted to discover Oriande? She knew it existed, but he certainly didn't. What could he want from there? 

Haggar scratched off the question. What couldn't he want? Oriande was the birthplace of Altean alchemy. The key to the world was inside of the mythological place. But she knew her son, and she knew his goals. He wanted something specific from there, and she needed to figure out what. 

The other crucial piece of information she had discovered was on the half breed, Keith. He was clearly important to all of them, especially Ezor. And it seemed her son was sweet on him. His weakness was the cosmic wolf pup he had. Target that, and she could bring him down.

Bring him down, and she destroyed the entire team. 

It was perfect. 

Now, all she needed was the means to use it. What could she do with this information? She needed to extract him from them somehow, and she figured she could use Kosmo. But what would her methods need to be? 

Take the pup somehow, and then threaten Keith. The problem was she would only need to get to him. She couldn't risk involving Lotor and his other generals. 

_Narti_.

She could delve deeper, collect more information, and take Narti. She would hand her the pup easily, and then she could take her. Narti would prove useful. 

Excellent.

And who said she was weak? 


	9. The Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith is hanging around, being absolutely awesome  
> or  
> god somethings gonna happen next chapter so lets just enjoy some calming fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry but this is going to be a short chapter because the next few are going to be killing me to write

Keith was laying on the couch, his legs on Ezor's lap as he messed around with the cosmic wolf pup on his lap. 

The others were scattered around, mostly talking with themselves. Lotor was conversing with Narti, but he had been saying something hushed with Acxa earlier. Keith wondered what it was. 

Instead of dwelling on that, he focused on poking at Kosmo's paws, running his fingers through the soft fur. Kosmo watched his paws with interest as Keith moved them around randomly. 

After Keith made another move with his paws, Kosmo laid his head down on Keith's chest with an exaggerated huff. Keith stuck out his tongue in response, and Kosmo thumped his tail lightly. 

Ezor took one look at them and cracked up. "You guys were made for each other."

Keith looked at her in confusion, flicking an ear. She shook her head, still laughing. Keith carefully lifted Kosmo up as he swung his legs onto the ground, standing with the pup in his arms. 

"I'm going to find food for Kosmo," Keith announced to the room. 

Lotor spared him a curious glance. "Where are you going to find food, exactly?"

Keith shrugged. "Haven't gotten that far yet."

"I'll go with you!" Ezor volunteered, leaping to her feet as well. "But should we change back into armor?"

"We're weaker without it," Keith said, biting his lip.

"But that's also so much work!" Ezor whined. 

"Go without it. You can still fight without armor." Lotor said.

Ezor grinned and shot towards the door. Keith sighed, flicking his tail and pinning his ears back slightly before walking forward himself. Kosmo squirmed in his arms until he was perched around his shoulders.

"You're not gonna be able to do this much longer," Keith said, petting the top of Kosmo's head. 

"It's cute," Ezor said with a smile.

Keith rolled his eyes. Of course, she would say that.

"So..." she drawled after a minute. "You got any idea of where we're going?"

"Nope. I've never even gone to get coffee." Keith said. They were walking aimlessly down a random hall. "I figured we would just go with it." 

Ezor nodded. "Excellent."

There was a minute of silence. 

"Ooh! Let's try this door!" Ezor said, pointing at a pair of doors. They slid open as they walked forward, and they were standing in a room that was very much _not_ the kitchen. Despite the fact Keith knew the way to most things, like the hangar and the control room, he couldn't remember the kitchen route.

And now they were standing in a hall with Pidge sitting against the wall, typing at her computer and looking at them. 

"Hi!" Ezor said with a small wave. "We're looking for the kitchen. You wouldn't happen to know where that is, would you?"

Pidge turned back to the screen, her voice monotone. "It's down the hall to the right. Can't miss it."

Keith nodded and grabbed Ezor's hand, leading her out the doors and down the hall, into the kitchen. It was empty, thank Sa. 

"Let's get Kosmo some food and go," Keith said, opening the pantry. He grabbed the first packet he saw, opening it and grabbing what looked to be a cracker inside. Keith hesitantly took a bite.

It was an animal cracker.

Keith froze, staring at the cookie in his hand in confusion. 

"What's up, Keef?" Ezor asked, looking over his shoulder and snatching the cookie, popping it into her mouth.

"This is delicious." She said.

Keith snatched the bag out of her grasp. "They're called animal crackers on Earth, and they're mine."

"Don't be like that!" Ezor whined. Keith handed Kosmo a cracker. 

"You're unreasonably mean." Ezor pouted, crossing his arms.

Keith laughed. "Yes, I am. Come on, let's go back."

Ezor sighed, turning and striding towards the door. Keith set Kosmo down on the floor, holding the container and following Ezor. The walk back to the room was quiet, with Ezor determined to give Keith the silent treatment until he gave her an animal cracker. 

They arrived back, and Ezor sat on the couch with a huff. 

Acxa noticed her behavior. "What happened?"

"Keith won't share his animal crackers," Ezor grumbled, crossing her arms and sinking into the cushions.

Keith rolled his eyes, sitting down next to her. Kosmo jumped up onto his lap, reaching out for the bag. Keith poked his nose and retreated the bag out of his reach. He hadn't been to Earth in ages. He would keep these crackers if it killed him. 

Lotor snatched the bag out of his grasp.

Unknown to Keith, he had silently snuck around behind the couch Keith was sitting on. Now he had his crackers in hand. Keith set Kosmo down beside him and turned, leaping off the couch and reaching for the bag.

Lotor ducked out of the way, one arm behind his back. The other dangled the bag next to his face, a smirk plastered on it. Keith took a deep breath and calmed himself, letting his eyes slide closed.

"Giving up?" Lotor taunted.

A second of stillness.

Keith snapped open his eyes and lunged forward, snatching his forearm and twisting his body, flipping Lotor over his shoulder and onto the floor. Lotor landed with a huff as Keith snatched the bag. 

He vaulted over the couch and sat on it, placing Kosmo on his lap and his legs on Ezor's lap before popping a cracker in his mouth. 

Ezor started laughing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short, y'all. but in the next one...  
> things are about to go d o w n


	10. UPDATE: HIATUS

i apologize so so so much for not getting y'alls chapter out yet i have an awful writers block and then my wifi wasnt working -__-   
anyways just wanted to drop in and say love everybody here (in an uncreepy way) and that i will be off for a couple weeks to throw myself into writing for my shindeku bnha fic throw a pebble  
thank you so much for understand love all of you  
-pebble♥


	11. The Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> narti and kova have disappeared along with kosmo. keith is starting to panic when he gets a transmission  
> or  
> buckle up y'all im bouta bring the feels
> 
> also: im not off my hiatus yet, i just wanted to give you guys this because you all are the sweetest and most supportive people ive ever met, like seriously  
> love y'all ♥♥♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so like major keitor  
> it doesnt really get graphic i dont write smut theres just lots of kisses  
> implied sex at the end  
> but like  
> .p.

_The small half-galra slumbered peacefully in his bed._

_His eyes were closed and his face was more open than ever. His black hair was splayed out around him, and his body was curled protectively around a small wolf pup. The pup's fur glowed in the dim light. It slumbered as deeply as the Galra._

_Kova supervised from the door, tail resting on her paws. Her eyes glowed in the dim light._

_Narti stepped forward, her steps silent._

_She wore her armor as always. She loomed over the bed, looking down on the sleeping duo. Then, ever so slowly, grabbed a loose pillow she had found earlier. Her hand hovered over the scruff of the pup._

_In a flash, the pillow was in its place and the pup was in her arms. It started to awake, but Narti grabbed a rag and pressed it to the wolf's mouth. The pup's eyes slid closed and its head lolled._

_Narti turned and walked out of the room, Kova following her like a dark sentry._

∅

Keith was slightly panicking. 

He had woken up that morning curled around a pillow. _A pillow!_

His pup was nowhere to be found. Now he was pacing his room, wondering where Kosmo could have gone. He wanted, no, _needed_ Kosmo. And he couldn't find him. Kosmo wouldn't leave on his own. Did someone take him?

Did one of the paladins take him?

Did Allura take him?

Maybe Ezor had grabbed him to get some food. Maybe he had needed to go to the bathroom and was wandering the castle. Maybe he was hungry, or sitting on the couch outside. 

Maybe Keith was a paranoid mess overreacting to nothing.

Scratch that, it definitely couldn't be the last one. 

Keith was about to pull his hair out. Before he got too overwhelmed, though, he decided to take action. 

He stopped burning foot-shaped holes into the floor with his pacing, and forced himself to take a deep breath. Held it for three ticks. Released for five. Breathed in for seven, held for three, released for five. 

Then, with his tail lashing, he put on his armor. Making sure it all fit correctly, he slid his knife into the sheath along his belt. He stopped and started sheathing and unsheathing the dark claws on his fingers. The motion was repetitive and steadying. They gleamed in the low light of his room. He had neglected to turn on any lights. They hurt his eyes. 

Twenty doboshes after Keith had woken up, he was walking out of his room mentally prepared for war. Instead, he got a tired, not-yet dressed team sitting on the couch. They were talking idly, yawning occasionally.

Kosmo was not with them.

Keith was prepared to burn down the entire castle. 

Instead, he turned on his heel and opened the door to the common room, disappearing into the hall. Where was he going? His body was moving faster than his mind. It was a hopeless game of catch-up.

Pidge.

Ignoring the calls of his team behind him, he turned a hall and tried to think of where Pidge might be. Her room? Not likely. The hangar? It was his best bet at the moment, considering he had nothing better to go off of. 

Sprinting forward, he darted down halls in an attempt to reach the hangar faster.

"Keith?" Lance asked. He and Hunk were walking down the hall. Keith didn't have time for it. But, they were also blocking the hall. He didn't bother feeling bad about his next actions. 

Hunk was carrying a tray of... something. In other words, his arm was up at a ninety-degree angle. Keith didn't slow his pace, but at the last second let his weight drop back so he easily slid under Hunk's arm.

Springing back up without any loss of momentum, Keith continued sprinting towards the hangar. After another dobosh of painful, fast running, he slid to a stop in front of the Lion's hangar.

Opening it, he had never felt so happy to see the green paladin sitting at her computer. Even if Allura and Shiro happened to be there. Whatever. This was far more important than his own discomfort with the paladins. 

Running forward, he gracefully slid to a stop in front of the paladin. She watched with a wary expression.

"Keith?" Allura and Shiro asked at the same time.

They didn't matter right now.

"Pidge, can you track things within the castle?" Keith asked. 

Pidge adjusted her glasses with a nod. Keith could see the heavy bags under her eyes, the cups of coffee around her. She looked like she hadn't slept last night. And, knowing her, she probably didn't. "Why?"

"Kosmo is missing. Can you find him?" Keith asked. He was struggling to keep his calm as his nerves twisted and tangled themselves into a sparking mess. 

Pidge started typing at her computer. "Do you know when he went missing?"

"Sometime last night. When I was sleeping." Keith said, and then a malicious thought popped into his mind. It made his stomach twist, but he wasn't ruling anything out at this point. He needed to find Kosmo.

"Check Narti as well," Keith said, somehow managing to keep his composure. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Kova this morning. She was always with Narti. And Narti was always awake. 

Pidge tapped at her screen before a worried expression crossed her face and she bit her lip. "Narti came out from her room and went into yours in the middle of the night. We don't have cameras set up inside the rooms. She came back out with Kosmo and went to... the hangar?"

"Is one of the ships missing?" Allura asked.

Pidge nodded. 

"What is happening?" Lotor asked.

Keith looked up. The prince was standing with the rest of the team in the doorway to the hangar, walking forward. He seemed more curious than anything, right now. Of course. He didn't know about Kosmo. The rest of the team were dressed in their armor, each one looking wary to be around the paladins. The tension was thick, but Keith was ignoring it for the sake of his pup.

"Pidge, anything else?" Keith asked.

She pushed his glasses up her nose. "It looks like she left something behind in her room, a communicator? Maybe?"

That was all Keith needed. Faster than anyone could blink, he had left the room.

∅

Lotor had been sitting on the couch, talking Acxa. 

"Okay, so I totally ship you and Keith." She had told him.

Lotor flushed. "Excuse me?"

Acxa nodded. "Adorable. Now, we need a name."

"I have a name." Lotor wasn't quite sure where she was going with this. He still didn't really understand what she meant by 'ship'. They already had a ship. Sincline would be furious if they replaced her. 

Acxa laughed at him. "I can see why Keith likes you. You're cute when you're oblivious."

"He likes me?"

Acxa stifled another giggle with her hand, trying not to be too loud. Lotor played with a strand of his hair. He had no idea where Acxa was going with this conversation at all... but did Keith really like him?

Lotor flushed bright red as he realized he was being needy. 

Before Acxa could laugh at him further, the door to Keith's room slid open. Lotor and the others looked over.

Keith looked... not good.

His gaze was manic and his lip was bleeding. It appeared he had been chewing it quite a bit. He looked tired, but painfully alert. Lotor could see the signs. Right now, Keith was a ball of pure adrenaline. 

His crazed gaze swept over the room, and he didn't seem to find what he was looking for. He rushed out of the room, into the hall. 

"Keith?" Lotor called, as did Ezor. 

"He doesn't look okay," Zethrid said.

Lotor nodded. "Get dressed. We'll find out the problem."

Lotor stood, slipping into his room and throwing on his armor. Running a hand through his hair, he reemerged into the room. The others joined him shortly after. They looked equally worried about Keith. 

"Acxa, where is he?"

Acxa pulled up a screen. "Sprinting heavily towards the Lion's hangar."

Lotor nodded. "Excellent. Let's go." 

∅

Keith nearly threw himself into Narti's room when the door opened. 

He looked around, his gaze passing over the empty walls and to the neatly made bed. Pidge was right: there was a small grey device on the bed. Keith snatched it, looking for some way to turn it on. 

It glowed dark purple and fell to the floor. 

A hologram appeared. Dark robes, a hooded gaze.

"We have your precious pup, half-breed."

Keith's breath caught. 

"If you wish to be reunited with him, you will turn yourself into Commander Sendak sometime in the next twelve vargas."

The small device exploded, bits ricocheting everywhere. Keith held up his arms, letting the sharp pieces bounce off his armor. He lowered his arms, hating himself far more than he ever had. 

He hated his very soul because he didn't need to think about this.

The decision was already made.

∅

Lotor had the others stay back in the Hangar to work more with Pidge and the other paladins. 

They needed to find out more. There was no way Narti would betray them, after all.

Right?

He walked back through the halls, opening the door to their common room. It was empty. Nothing was out of place, nothing was any more different than it had been when they had left. 

Lotor cautiously walked up to Keith's door. He hesitated.

What if Keith didn't want to see him? His pup wasn't with him. That could make him unstable. Unhappy. Unwanting of Lotor's presence. 

Lotor bit his tongue and knocked.

There was quiet.

"Keith? I am coming inside." Lotor said softly.

The door opened, and he stepped inside of the room. The lights weren't on. The door closed behind him. Lotor couldn't see much until his eyes adjusted. He could faintly make out the shape of the bed, and walked over to it with caution in his step. 

"Keith?" He called softly. He didn't seem to be in the room. Stupid of him. 

Just as he turned, a weight crashed into him. 

Lotor blinked in surprise, and suddenly lips were on his. Arms wrapped around his neck, pulling them closer together.

Lotor's brain short-circuited. 

Before he knew it, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, and someone was on his lap, legs wrapped around his waist and arms still around his neck. Their face was buried in his shoulder.

Lotor was beyond confused.

And then he looked down.

And then he mentally died.

_Lotor.exe has stopped working_

∅

Keith knew the decision was made.

He knew it, damn it all to Sa. 

He couldn't believe he was making it so lightly. It wasn't even a real question to him. Maybe that was further proof to the deteriorating condition of his mental state. Maybe it was more evidence to support Keith was unstable. 

He walked into his room, sitting back against the wall opposite to his bed.

And then Lotor, sweet, sweet Lotor, knocked on his door and stepped inside. He looked hesitant, nervous to be there. It was oddly endearing. He walked over to the bed, and Keith could see the disappointment in his eyes. 

He turned back around, and Keith didn't bother holding back. Words failed him. 

He sprung forward, standing on his toes and wrapping his arms around his neck. He pressed his lips to Lotor's. Lotor seemed to stop working, which almost made Keith laugh. He was like a statue. 

Keith pushed him back, and he fell back onto the bed. 

Keith straddled his lap, clutching him tightly in a hug. 

Lotor seemed to realize what was happening. Keith felt his head move as he looked down. And heard how his breath caught. 

Keith pulled back, and at Lotor's wide eyes, did laugh. It was soft, and quiet, but still a laugh. Lotor looked like he ceased to function. A sensory overload. His program crashed and burned. 

Keith placed his hands on either side of Lotor's face, looking into his beautiful blue eyes. Lotor blinked.

Keith laughed again, placing a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose. 

And then Lotor was surging forward, and his lips were warm and soft, and his arms were around Keith's waist, slipping lower. 

Keith tangled his hand in Lotor's perfect white hair, the hair he never let anyone touch. Keith could. As they kissed, he felt the urge to tangle it, if only to annoy him. 

Instead, Lotor turned, and Keith dropped back on the bed, looking up at him. 

∅

Keith looked angelic.

Laying on the bed, dark hair splayed out around in a messy elegance, eyes wide, lips kiss-swollen. 

He truly looked like an angel fallen from Sa's grasp. 

Said angel reached up, pulling Lotor's face back to his own. He was soft, his lips impossibly warm. 

A minute passed.

Somehow, Lotor had ended up sitting on the bed, knees half drawn up, leaning against the wall. Keith straddled his lap, hands playing with his hair. Lotor didn't want to think about what his perfect hair would look like later.

So he didn't.

Keith distracted him by pressing kisses to his cheek. Dotting them down the side of his face, the side of his neck. 

Lotor briefly wondered how he had ended up in this situation. After a second of thinking, he decided he didn't particularly care. He cupped Keith's face again, pressing their lips together softly. Keith was the one to press further into him, his hands on his shoulders, kissing him harder.

Lotor took a second to consider if this was what heaven felt like. 

∅

Keith pressed kiss after kiss. 

Played with his hair.

Took seconds to simply stare into his eyes. 

Kissed him again. 

It was wonderful. It made him feel on top of the world, like he was floating above everything. All else fell away at this moment. Right now, it was just him and Lotor. The feeling of his mouth on his. His lips swollen and aching for more, more, _more_. 

Lotor complied, kissing him without fail. It was heaven and hell, the scorching heat of Lotor's lips, his breath, practically burning Keith. He loved it, hated it, wanted more. It wasn't enough. He wanted it all.

He wanted him.

∅

All of the others had long since decided to sleep.

Acxa was tired, but she was holding out for Ezor to finally retire to sleep. Keith and Lotor hadn't reappeared.

Finally, Ezor traipsed off to her room with a wide yawn. Acxa flicked off the lights and silently walked to the door of Keith's room. It opened quietly, and she spotted the discarded armor tossed onto the floor.

With a smirk, she saw Keith and Lotor curled up together under the blankets on the bed. Lotor wrapped around Keith, who looked so peaceful when he slept. Acxa could see the dark marks on Lotor's neck from over here. 

Acxa resisted the urge to laugh at the slumbering two as she shut the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... i tried my hand at keitor.
> 
> when i wrote about keith messing up lotors hair, i started laughing and confused my whole household. i also took a minute to just look up random keitor fanart cause im weird.  
> hope u enjoyed it, because it is going to be the sweetest scene for a long time after this.


	12. you leave me alone in this place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok so i found a way to make better chapter titles and they're starting n o w

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmk so y'all i'm back but updates are going to be random and a little farther apart because school started and I've got four other fics to keep up with. yay.

Keith pressed a final kiss to Lotor's forehead, running his hands through his hair one final time. 

Then he turned, dressed in his armor with his knife behind him, and walked out of the room. He walked through the castle, not really understanding where he was or what he was doing. 

Before he had left, Keith had written a hasty note to everyone and left it on the table in the center of the common room. He knew it was a crappy excuse for a goodbye, but he also knew they would stop him. 

Nothing was keeping him tethered here, not while Kosmo was in trouble. 

Keith ran a hand through his hair, tail flicking behind him. He looked up, and realized he had made it to the hangar. He was no fool. He knew what Sendak would do to get his hands on the Lions. 

But Haggar knew what Keith would do to get his hands on Kosmo once more. 

Keith sighed, then went to choose a random altean ship. He wasn't cruel enough to take a Lion. They were the universe's last hope. How can he knowingly, _willingly_ take that away? Those ships were the key to bringing down Sendak, Haggar, Zarkon, whoever you named.

Keith wished it wasn't this way. He really, _really_ did. But life was never that easy.

Not for him, at least. 

He turned on the ship, watching it hum and whir to life in front of him. He pressed the button to open the airlock, and was sucked out into space. It was the middle of the night, about six or so vargas after Keith had gotten his message.

The message had included coordinates for Sendak's position, which Keith entered into the ship. 

He set it on autopilot and leaned back in the seat, staring at the stars around him. He had no idea what would happen when he arrived. Would they kill him on the spot? Keep him there and torture him?

Or would they turn him into a weapon for the empire?

Kieth let his eyes slip closed, until the ship beeped at him a little while later. 

He had made it. 

Keith opened his eyes, and gazed upon the huge cruiser looming in front of him. He piloted it over to the closest airlock, where it opened without prompting. Keith knew they had seen him. 

He knew they were coming for him.

Keith knew this, and let it all happen.

He landed the ship and stepped out, just to see the smiling face of Sendak. Guns were trained at him from every corner of the room. Keith looked up, meeting Sendak's gaze with an empty one of his own. 

Keith raised his hands up where they could be seen. Stared Sendak straight in the eye.

"I surrender."

∅

Lotor woke up to cold. 

The bed was empty.

Lotor sat up, then remembered last night and went bright red. No wonder Keith had disappeared. 

He carefully dressed himself again in his armor, discarded on the floor, and combed through his hair until it was as perfect as always. He couldn't let it slip he had let Keith mess with his hair, after all. 

Lotor stifled a yawn, stretching and walking out of the room.

Thank Sa, the common room was empty. 

Lotor noticed a small piece of paper on the table. It caught his interest. He sat on the couch and picked it up, reading it through. 

_so... if you're reading this... that means it's too late._

_haggar took control of narti through kova. she took kosmo from me. she threatened his life._

_which also means if you're reading this, I'm already having tea with sendak. don't worry, though. i didn't take a lion. I'm not_ that _stupid, after all. i think. i know you're all probably pretty pissed with me right now, i know i would be. but it's not your decision to make. i guess it was already made the second i heard haggar's message, the second i realized kosmo was gone. you all are my family, and i love you, i know i don't say it enough, but kosmo makes up my will to live._

_i can't keep going without him. guess that pays testament to my mental state._

_sorry, keith_

Lotor was frozen.

He was gone.

Keith was gone.

To Sendak.

Keith had gone to Sendak, and he didn't plan on coming back.

∅

Ezor had never seen Lotor cry.

So when she walked into the common room and saw him trying to wipe his tears away while sitting on the couch, you could say she was surprised and very, _very_ worried. Crying was just something Lotor didn't do. 

She rushed over, and noticed the paper in his lap. Was that what made him cry?

She picked it up and read it through. 

∅

The paladins had been gathered in the hangar, just talking with each other and bonding. They liked spending idle time with each other. It was fun.

Then Lotor and his group had walked inside, Keith noticeably missing. It had set everyone on edge by default, and they looked up. Each Galra looked positively _murderous._ Lance really hoped it wasn't directed at them. 

"Lotor, what is wrong?" Allura asked. 

Ezor stomped in front of Lotor, completely disregarding everyone except for Pidge. Pidge watched her approach with confusion but didn't recoil like the others did. She didn't really seem to care about what species they were. 

Ezor was stiff, and her eyes looked slightly red. "Green paladin, you can track, right?"

Pidge adjusted her glasses. "Keith was in here about seven vargas ago asking that. Did he find Kosmo?"

Ezor pulled a paper out from somewhere, holding it up. It was crumbled and had drops of something splashed onto it. 

"That's nice, but I can't read from here." Pidge said flatly. 

"Keith is gone." Ezor choked out. "He surrendered himself to Sendak."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feliz navidad pendejas


	13. he who has departed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So !  
> this is final version i have decided to go with after lots of drafts and many different possibilities. please tell me if you think its dumb because i live off of feedback and as a writer its really helpful!

_two decaphoebs later_

* * *

The war wasn't over. 

Lotor dropped down from the Red Lion to the ship, side-by-side with Lance. He still didn't understand why the paladins never wore the colors of the Lions they piloted. Allura didn't even wear a color of Voltron, for Sa's sake. 

Pidge's voice burst to life inside of their helmets. 

" _Remember. This is the strongest general yet. He was the Champion of the Arena and Haggar's toy before being appointed to a general. He's the only one who's never lost a battle. We all need to face him. Meet up at the control room._ "

Lotor nodded. "Have you gotten into the cameras?"

Pidge paused. " _That's the problem. There aren't any._ "

That was... new. 

Lotor shook his head. "Just head forward. My generals know the layouts and ins and outs. Just listen to them and you all will be fine."

There was a murmur of agreement. In the two decaphoebs they had been working together, the trust had been earned on both ends. They were more at ease with each other, even sharing meals at night. 

Lotor dropped into the ship in front of Lance, pulling out his sword and looking around. No one around. That wasn't as they had expected. Lance landed behind Lotor, then motioned to keep going. 

"We haven't found anyone," Lance spoke into the com. 

"We haven't either," Pidge answered.

"Clear." The other groups sounded in. 

"Be careful. We'll head to that control room. Wait outside until all of us are there." Shiro responded. 

Lotor and Lance continued. 

"Man, this is so creepy..." Lance said after a moment. 

Lotor rolled his eyes. "I think that's what they're going for. Intimidation." 

"It's working!" Lance responded shrilly. 

They made it to the control room before the others. They exchanged a glance, right as a thud hit the wall on the other side. Lance jumped back with a stifled yelp of fear. There was the sound of cracking inside. 

There was a scream. 

"You all, are positively _useless!_ " Someone yelled, but their tone was so happy. They laughed from inside and sounded genuinely amused. There was another thud against the wall. 

There was another scream. "Please, it was an accident!" 

"So is this!" Another snap. 

The others arrived, and Lotor motioned for silence. Soon, the rest of the paladins and Lotor's generals had arrived. They listened to the sound of a massacre inside. There sounded to be something uniquely close to a snarl. 

After a few doboshes, the room fell silent. 

"Oops, I guess we'll just have to tell Haggar it was a massacre!" the deranged voice laughed. "Oh, don't get your paws in a tangle! She'll understand. She made me this, after all. You reap what you sow, love!" 

Lotor raised three fingers, and slowly lowered them. When he reached one, he turned and opened the door, the others charging up their blasters. 

A huge shape of fur launched forward, and heavy paws hit Lotor's chest, pushing him back. The weight covered him, and there were sharp teeth in front of his face. But he recognized those glowing yellow eyes. 

"Kosmo?!" Ezor yelled. 

The wolf looked up, snarling low at her with his ears pinned back. 

There was a gasp inside the room. "Guests! Kosmo, mind your manners!" 

The wolf stopped, backing off of Lotor and retreating into the room. He had gotten _huge._ Instead of the little pup he was when he left, a huge wolf with his shoulder level with Lotor's head stood there, fur bristling and stained with red. 

And in front of him, standing in the room was Keith. 

Except he was all wrong. 

He was wearing armor in the slimmer style of the Blade, with a hood on his back, but in black instead of grey. A black bodysuit ran under his armor, and he had a slim chest plate that left his shoulders bare, thin grey and black bracers running from his upper arm to cover his hand, leaving only his fingertips bare. Armored boots covered his upper thighs down to his feet, and they looked sturdy. His tail swayed gently behind him, and an ear twitched. 

The marks crisscrossing his cheeks seemed more noticeable. Lotor realized with a jolt it was because the markings had turned to scars. Someone had carved into his skin and replaced them. 

Blood was splattered all across him, staining his cheek and armor. His hands were completely coated. The insane smile curving the edges of his lips was the worst part of the entire affair. 

Keith clasped his hands behind his back, leaning over a bit. "How lovely to see you all! How are you this fine, fine dobosh?" 

Lotor blinked. He was going into shock, he thought. 

"K-Keith?" Pidge choked out. 

Keith's smile went a tad sharper. "The one and only, green paladin." 

"What happened to your soldiers?" Hunk asked nervously. 

Keith blinked, then turned and looked at the carnage around him. "Oh. I forgot. They were bad, I'm afraid. So they had to be _punished._ I should really head back for a new crew soon. It's dangerous to be out here all alone." 

"Punished?" Hunk gulped. 

Keith laughed. His gaze sparkled with insanity. "Yes. I have no tolerance for those who cannot even follow the simplest of orders. Oh well. I suppose this means I'll have to stick around in the arena for a while when I return. Ta-ta, paladins of Voltron." 

Lotor blinked. "We have to take you back with us, Keith. We can rescue you."

Keith's good humor fell into a heap of crumbling ash as he bared his teeth in a sudden snarl. "If you cared then you would have come _two decaphoebs_ ago!"

As quick as it came, the rage was gone. Keith's smile crawled back onto his face, his expression relaxing as he ran a bloody hand through his hair. "Oh well, I suppose that I have only myself to blame for such a thing. After all, I went for Kosmo."

The wolf in question turned to him at the sound of his name. Keith held out his arms, and the huge wolf walked up to him with his tail wagging, pushing his snout into Keith's chest. Keith laughed, running his hands over his fur and pressing a chaste kiss to the tip of his nose. 

"Come on, love. Let's blow this popsicle stand." 

Keith turned just as Kosmo teleported them away. His laughter echoed off every corner of the room. 

Lotor's blood was chilled. 

There was a beeping sound. 

"It's gonna blow!" Pidge screamed, just as the room lit up a blinding white. 

Keith reappeared in front of Haggar, dropping into a bow and pressing his fist to his chest. 

"Vrepit Sa. I detonated the ship when the paladins of Voltron appeared. I have no doubt they will escape, though." Keith smirked.

Haggar hissed, reaching forward and lifting Keith up by his hair.

Keith's smirk grew strained, but it stayed on his face. "So intimate. You haven't even gotten me dinner."

"You idiot," Haggar growled. "If you come into contact with the paladins again, you _will_ go with them. You are an inside weapon we can't afford to lose, you absolute idiot. Get out of my sight."

She threw him back, and Keith caught himself and sprang back up nimbly. His tail swayed behind him and an ear twitched, but he bowed and walked off with Kosmo. He kept his rigid posture until he reached his quarters, ushering Kosmo inside and closing the door.

Keith deflated, reaching up and running a hand through his hair. He hated that goddamn witch. 

Kosmo whined, nudging him with his nose. Keith offered a tired smile.

"Let's just- let's just go to bed, Kos."


End file.
